After advice please?
You know how you just get a feeling that mothers intuition.
My now 18 year old daughter met a boy about 10 months ago .
He hangs around pot heads kids who have lost their licence for speeding and just ferals.
This crowd does not match our family morals and I don’t want to meet him or have him come through our front door.
Several reasons he’s driven on his red Ps at 130km on the freeway with our daughter in the car he speeds past our house with his mates one of his best mates is a pot head can’t work as it’s in his system and his other best mate is a drug dealer (pot) big quantities.
I feel if they are doing this now at age 18 what’s it going to lead into .
I know that this boy my daughter niw calls her boyfriend goes down to Sydney with his mate plays the pokies wins big money and somehow washes the drug money if that’s what you call it . This is facts.
As a mum I’m concearned and I don’t want her hanging with them .
She feels this boy inst involved but he is indirectly he goes on drop offs and down to Sydney .
She’s just not listening and I can not allow this around my other younger children
7 Replies
If these allegations are true, then report to police.
Ok but she’s 28, you’ll push her to him. What’s wrong with her that this is what she wants to get involved with? I’m assuming she’s not dumb, right? Keep her close and ask her questioning, don’t tell her the answers just keep her thinking.
She’s 18
Wow, calm down mama!
I hear your concerns but personally feel like it's an overreaction.
You haven't even given bf a chance (as you said you don't want to meet him) - maybe a little open mind is needed here. You a judging someone without even knowing anything personally about them and by personally I mean directly from their mouth to your ear/ seeing with your own two eyes not hearsay through the grapevine or from your daughter.
Also why is he getting judged over his friends and there choices? Frankly nothing to do with him or you.
As for his drug activities- dealing is of concern 100% but is this him or his friends? Is this true? Or is it a bunch of young adults hyping nothing? All of these things can actually be resolved/answered/understood if you actually get to know the person. The reckless driving is a awesome moment for you to be having those open discussions with your daughter around boundaries, acceptable behaviour and safety ect. Awesome chance if you meet him to also pull him up "hey I would like my daughter to get home in one piece alive, watch the speed". Build your daughter up so she has the confidence to stand up to any man/woman when she is in a situation that's she feels uncomfortable/unsafe because in reality he's not the first 18 year old to speed and he won't be the last and as we all know too well adults (30+) are a huge issue with speeding too
Again pokes at gambling - I hope you're backyard is sparkling clean! We are all human, we all make mistakes, no body is perfect and yes we want the best for our children but when they become adults all we can do is give our support and always keep the door open. Sounds to me that you need to do a little less judging and actually get to know this guy or understand the fact that your daughter is 18 and will eventually go off and create her own little family and have her own family morals that she lives by.
And honestly he's 18 - I don't know what 18 year old is a perfect angel that has life figured out.
As for having it around your younger children (which is a weird statement) I take it you would not be leaving him alone to watch your younger children so what's the big deal? It's your house so you set the rules - obviously no drugs at your house and whatever other rules you feel appropriate and Again a chance to educate younger children.
You can't shelter them from life and when you do as soon as mums got her back turned they do absolutely everything naughty that they can think of. Little less control/judging, little more open mindedness. Meet the guy, give him a chance before putting the slipper in.
Agree with this
Why wouldn't you want to meet him if they've been together for 10 months? That decision could come back to bite you if your daughter stays in a long term relationship with him, you won't see her. Just because you think you're better than this boy and his friends your daughter obviously does not think like that and these are her friends. Come back down to ground level and try and get to know him for your daughters safety as well as for your own bias.
Wasting money on the pokies, not washing lol who ever comes out on top? For God's sake, meet the dude before you make all these judgements. What's he going to do to the younger kids at the dinner table? Invite him over for dinner, maybe have a little more faith in your daughter.