It’s been 9 years since my husband and I have had sex. Mainly my because he has ED and I’ve stopped initiating.
I found out that during this time he takes viagra and watches porn so I feel like he gets off once a week just not with me.
He has made zero effort to fix this problem, spice things up and do anything with me. He has gone down on me once in 15 years as an aside.
I e put up with this for a long time - I’ve tried talking, crying and yelling. I’ve reached a point where I know I need more and deserve better.
Can a marriage turn back from this? Do I even try if he has made no effort?
6 Replies
After almost a decade, sorry, but I'd have been having sex with others' by now. I don't care what anyone thinks of that, to withhold sex for a decade has repercussions.
It's not uncommon for for couples to hit a dry spell, but 9 years is crazy. He needs to meet you half way and if he has no intention of meeting you there than I'd be saying goodbye.
It’s ok to move on. It’s ok to say he’s not the one for you.
He’s had 9 years to make an effort and he has made it very clear he doesn’t want to.
Oh, Sweetheart...
I think deep down you already know this but your marriage was over a long time ago! There's no coming back from this.
Don't waste another 9 -15 years waiting for him to change because he won't.
Might get alot of hate for this, but have a conversation with him. Look into ethical non monogamy and go find yourself someone to satisfy your needs 💕
I would request marriage counselling and if he is willing to go, definitely try. But if he refuses marriage counselling then he isn't willing to try, then your marriage is over. I would move on. You definitely need him to start showing you affection again or there is someone else out there that will