Im in my mid 40’s and my partner is in his early 50’s. We have been together 5 years. Recently he has been keeping photo’s on his phone of a female colleague. Not inappropriate photo’s, just everyday pics off her socials. I dont know what to make of it. To me, it’s somewhat soul destroying…is he cheating, is he wanting something with her, does he have feelings for her, I just dont get it. I dont feel comfortable asking him at this moment. im not sure what would even be an acceptable answer to why he has them.
Has anyone been through this? Any advice please?
5 Replies
A bit suss! I would ask and see what he says. Could be he's keeping records of something, like if she's chucked a sickie and then posted a photo of out to lunch with friends. Or maybe they were edited for a joke.
This is very off! Don’t let on that you know and dig for some answers. My guess is that he is cheating. Don’t let on you have seen them & suss things out another way & bust him.
I would find this icky.
Being that invested in someone else's socials??? For no reason???
No way.
Without asking him we're all only speculating but in my experience, no man takes that much effort unless he's trying to get his dick in somewhere.
Never really made sense to me why they wouldn't just put that effort into the woman they have but then again, they don't make much sense full stop a lot of the time.
You're the one in charge here.
You don't even have to ask him about them.
"We need a chat. I never pictured myself in a relationship where it was ok to save photos of people outside our family/friend network. I find it quite gross and in thinking it over, it's non negotiable."
I'm a firm believer that if I have to tell someone a decent way to be/act then our values clearly don't align.
My thoughts exactly! I would also be concerned about whether or not the other woman knows he is saving her photos.
Wank bank maybe? Whatever it is , its weird and I'd definitely be asking