I had the rug pulled from under me earlier this year after a 6-month relationship. I adored him, we had the big conversations, he was very romantic and made forward plans, we had a great sex life and things were easy. He just forgot to mention he was still seeing his former partner on a weekly basis for the duration of our time together. I was devastated when I found out and it still upsets me greatly several months down the track. My time, heart and energy just torn to shreds. I got very little explanation and silent treatment ever since, it’s just been an awful experience. I miss him terribly but can’t help but wonder if he feels any remorse? Or even misses me? I feel so lost and blindsided, I’m struggling to comprehend how someone could be so cruel?
6 Replies
No, he doesn’t. Because who could do that to somebody? The type of person who does that, is the type who devastates people, because they don’t feel that guilt or empathy or connection. If he did, he wouldn’t have been able to do it. Or even wanted to. I mean who wants to do that, when you could be spending six months building something real? Remind yourself of that any time you think you miss him. He’s an adult now, fully formed, and that’s what you get with him. you’ve seen the flags. Protect yourself from that.
No, he doesn't. Don't continue hurting yourself by trying to understand him. I promise you, the sooner you stop caring about what he thinks and start being selfish by caring more about your needs, he won't matter as much anymore.
Honey, Honestly if a man wants you he will work to get you (and keep you). This is shit but it’s 6 months. Not a long time in the scheme of things. Forget all and think about what you need from a relationship. This isn’t what a girl dreams of. You want to be cared for, loved, respected… instead you were dropped like a hot potato. You need and deserve more.
20 years ago I was in relationship with someone for 18 months. We broke up and he was living with another girl within 2 weeks of our break up. It hurt like hell, took a long time to recover. It also opened a door to a big life change for me and meeting my now husband.
Concentrate on yourself, even if he does contact you he has shown you where you lie in his list of important things. Consider this a painful lesson and listen to what the universe is now telling you. A door will be opening somewhere, you just need to listen.
6 months is still in the honeymoon period. Eventually you would have seen some ugly truths about this man. He sounds like he can act perfect for short periods of time. Which most NARCS can do. They will make you feel wonderful and then bam! shake things up so you feel confused and that's when it starts to become easier to control you!!!
Be very careful because I predict he will probably come back and you will be so compliant and desperate that he will know he has you. Begging him for attention. RUN, RUN, RUN! Be extra strong and turn him away. Then watch him get nasty.
A normal man is not perfect, it feels completely different and lovely long term. I finally found mine BUT I had to learn how to deal with my attachment to narcissists first. Take the time for you 💗
Oh honey! I really don’t think men do. I was with husband since I was 17 and was completely blindsided by his actions and affair. They say they are sorry so they feel better and they want you to still like them but really I don’t think they feel any remorse at all. The only remorse they have is that they got caught. Big hugs xx