Hey mummas,
I'm writing in because I'm really really struggling and I'm in such a dark place at the moment.
My son whos 8 has ADHD, Autism, Oppositional Defiance Disorder and is highly anxious with PTSD. He's of Ritalin for his ADHD and prozac 5mg for his anxeity as well as 10mg of catapress for sleeping.
Although he can be such a kind sweet little boy he has this really nasty side of him and I've gotten to the point where I legitimately can not do this anymore! He's smashed my tv's, put numerous holes in my walls, he bullies and torments me and his sister and no punishment, talks or anything I've tried is actually working!
He was suspended from school today for the 5th time and I got an email from his principal outlining his behaviour at school and I am utterly lost for words!! This is what she had said my son is doing:
Punching his support staff, throwing a chair at her and trying to flip a table over
Constantly running out of the classroom.
Refusing to do work other than be on the iPad or laptop playing minecraft.
Refusing to take medication. Often requiring someone from leadership to assist.
Drawing on himself/tables
Licking objects and other students’ objects (pencils etc.)
Climbing the railing in grade 6 staircase
Spitting food and throwing objects at others
Putting things on his neck (the heavy metal iPad bar), putting scissors in his mouth and pretending to choke himself with his hand.
Being really rough with/hurting other students
Hitting/poking students with umbrella
Tipping out his medication and giving students the moisture pack form inside the container.
Refusing to do any work
Standing on a chair and playing with the classroom phone
Screaming at his support staff saying he’ll work then not work, he kept going back and forth with this
Throwing all items in his lunch box at her
Headbutting the iPad
Banging/hitting the laptops
Hitting the iPad on the laptop
Throwing a chair across the room
Threatening to hit his support staff with magnetic meter ruler and waving it at her.
steals items and sweets from other students and teachers
runs out of school ground into traffic and refuses to come back into the school grounds
I am on the waiting list for supports through NDIS but its been months! I have called and emailed so many times but nothing has happened!! He's doing all this at home and at school, I can't keep up and I can't take him anywhere!! I've even caught him trying to steal lollies from Coles while shopping and when ive caught him he punches me really hard and runs off with the lollies. He lies so much as well and I can't trust him with anything, even with what happens at school. He hurts the animals at home and trying to get him to even eat or do even simple tasks like brush his teeth or bath is beyond challenging.
I can't stay at work because the school calls me to pick him up, I can't afford to take any more time off work, I'm a single mum with rent and bills to pay! His dad is no where to be found and gives me or his son no support, I have no one to turn to for help and I'm absolutely drowning!!!
I think to myself every night "what am I doing wrong?" "Am I missing something" "should I just give him to someone else who cam actually deal with this?" Then I cry and go to bed just to get up and do it allll over again!
I need help! I can't live like this anymore!!
4 Replies
Has the school referred you to even the public Occupational Therapist for behavioural support and screening of sensory issues? They can also help with regulating and so can a school psychologist if they have one? They cannot deny services due to accessing NDIS services as he is not currently receiving any. So ensure you say this to them.
Start writing down any behaviours you are noticing and what happened before and afterwards as this will help any provider in identifying triggers. This may even include hearing the word 'no' or loud sounds (sensory). Ask the school to do the same.
For Anxiety I would recommend getting onto the free online BRAVE program and going through this with him. Also check out if your area has the Secret Spy program for Autism.
Also get him linked into anything that requires controlled movement e.g. a therapist actually recommended tai chi or karate. Play games with him that require direction e.g. Simon Says and remember to positively praise as our kids sometimes start to hear only negative, especially if they are misbehaving and it almost stops them from trying.
I hope someone helps you soon xx
I’m a teacher, please also be aware that different states offer different services. OTs and psychologists are not always available and when we have them there are massive wait lists. While you can ask for it there simply may not be the resources available…… and depending on what state you’re in will depend if private therapist can enter the school.
I'd be careful of stimulants. It can send kids aggressive. Even kids who have ADHD . Those are scary drugs for children
Whatever state you are in I would recommend presenting to the nearest Childrens hospital emergency department so they can fast track you to the relevant specialists at the hospital. There is obviously a lot going on here and it will be no quick fix and you seriously need specialists to help you and your son.