I’ve been with my partner for 5-6 years.We don’t live together due to his drinking.We have had ups and downs in our relationship.
Last week,he consumed a fair bit of wine and randomly decided to go for a walk around 1am in near zero degree temp.I asked where did he go and he said
“oh just to the end of the street and back”.
I asked why and he said “I was bored”.
He later changed his story as to where he walked(was a lot further than to the end of the street and back).
My Sus radar tells me this is a bullshit excuse as I have never known him to just go for a walk because he is bored,particularly whilst drunk.He doesn’t even like going outside to have a cigarette if it’s cold.
And whenever he has gone out on foot whilst drunk,it’s always been with a reason in mind..drugs and alcohol(get more or go to a mates to consume either),or sex.
How would you people take this and broach the subject with him?Bear in mind quite often he gets defensive and shuts down,blames me etc when I have something like this to discuss with him.
7 Replies
If it stinks, then you know it’s bs. Handle accordingly. Who cares if he cracks a wobbly. He sounds gross.
Read your first three sentences. Why are you wasting 6 years with him? You don't like his drinking, enough to not live with him, yet you're hanging onto him all this time? Stop trying to find out if he's cheating and just end it.
I'm sure you have your reasons for being with him, but if his drinking is that bad, he does drugs, goes looking for sex, blames you for his behaviour, and you obviously don't trust him, ask yourself 'why am I with him?
I say that only because it sounds like he brings more angst to your life than joy. Is it maybe time to set yourself free & nudge the bar a little higher?
You lost me at "we don't live together due to his drinking".
What does the rest matter?
I wouldn't, you are waisting your time. He is an alcoholic whose brain function will be declining. You will not get a sensible answer out of him. The longer this level of drinking goes on the more shady his decision making will become, even if he did by chance go for an innocent walk, you won't be able to trust him and you will tie yourself in knots, making yourself crazy.
It's time to 100% protect your mental health. I know how hard that is, been there, done that. But it's only going to get worse.
I’d leave him
He doesn’t sound like a catch to be honest.