15 year old teen girl
I’m at my wits end with my teen girl. I’m flying blind she’s my oldest child. I’ll start with the good. She has nice friends, good grades, does sport, well liked and everyone thinks she’s a really great kid which mostly she has been. The last few months her behaviour at home is worsening. I feel like I’m the only one parenting her, my husband has a better relationship with her as he acts more like her friend and hates confrontation or disciplining her and it’s causing us marriage and family problems. For example she will swear and scream at him but he will be really calm and just ask her to stop but that’s it. She’s manipulative and plays us against each other. My daughter and I used to be close but now she says I’ve ruined our relationship but I don’t want that at all I just have no idea how to manage her. I’ll list some examples of things she’s doing.
- when she doesn’t get her own way she will often scream and swear and call us names. Only to me mainly but also her dad and younger brother things like “f*ck you Cu*t, go Ki*l yourself, I hate you, b*tch etc all things along those lines. She was late to work this week (she’s responsible for leaving time we always happy to take her) and she blew up saying all those things.
- she’s always on her phone and won’t give it up at night. I think she’s really tired and could benefit from her phone in the lounge room
Charging overnight and to get some sleep but she won’t give it up. Refuses. One time I had to basically tackle her and take it from her for poor behaviour. She’s bigger then me so this was awful.
She is not abused in any way, she has no mental health issues and a good life. We give her most of what she wants. She has a couple chores a week she does at home but often whinges or doesn’t do them and is very messy at home. Her room is disgusting which is another sore point. If I ask her nicely to clean up she will tell me I’m being a bitch and I’m abusing her and she will tell her school counsellor. I’m at my wits end honestly, the attitude and swearing is every day. I’m so exhausted I just want everyone to be happy and live in a harmonious household. Please help me.
Teen daughter issues help!
Teen daughter issues help!
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
More is going on with her phone and you need to take it. Is it on a plan? Cut it off. Someone at the other end is probably bothering her. Cut the wifi anything. Get that phone from her. Have you looked to see what social media pages she uses? Go through it. Get it while she’s asleep and tell her until she can show you respect then she doesn’t get it back. I’d actually smash it! Get in contact with the school councillor and tell them she needs help and is threatening to say such lies. Let it back fire on her.
Stop doing things for her. Absolutely nothing. Take her phone and make her go without. Tough love needed here and a psychologist.
Sit down with your husband and ask him what his strategy is? Is he just scared of her? Avoiding confrontation?
Maybe there’s more to it, maybe it’s how his parents were, or he has thought it through. I say this because it seems to be working better than your way, at least. And I do see what you’re trying to do. So ask him, “under your strategy, should she have to clean her room? Hand her phone in? How will you approach it?”
You have to be on the same page or it just won’t work out for you.