Hi sisterhood
Am just in abit of shock but okay,my DD 11yrs has started looking at sexual content on the internet any advice or suggestions on ways that I could go about handling it. I know it's something I have to talk to her eventually but I just didn't think it would be this soon.
5 Replies
Start with some parental controls for her devices. If you aren't sure how to go about that, pop into a specialised tech store (they'll be able to help you utilise the settings the devices already have and they'll be able to suggest software or apps for additional safety).
As for talking to your daughter about it. I think just be honest and say that you know she's been viewing adult content. Key point there being ADULT.
Explain to her that the curiosity and physical urges she's likely experiencing is totally normal and it's absolutely okay that she wants to know how sex/sexuality works but porn is not a healthy or age appropriate way to learn about it.
Porn is designed to be a bit of voyeuristic entertainment, it is not designed to be informative and factual, it's definitely not designed for children - it's really important that she understands this!
Tell her that she can ask you anything about sex that she'd like to know, normalise these conversations and be prepared to give more in depth answers than the clinical reproductive trope we grew up with. The more open we are with our kids, the less need they have to trawl the internet looking for answers.
Now is also a really good time to start having ongoing conversations about healthy relationships, consent, peer pressure, safe sex etc.
They talk. And in their class there is always older ones and ones who are shown way more than they should be. So you have to make sure you’re open for them to ask questions when they hear something they don’t know. Also give them age appropriate places to look (books, e books, educational websites) and block their searches from showing adult content
It could be something she's heard and looked it up to see what it is.
You definitely need to get those parental controls sorted asap.
Kids talk at school, they certainly did when I was in year 6. Most have had the birds and bees talks by now and they know how to google! It’s so easy to access.
The worst I could do as a kid was look up words in the dictionary.
So even if she didn’t intend to see the detail and every thing she saw, it’s inevitable if you do t have parental controls and systems in place.
It’s important to have a discussion about porn, what it is and how it differs or not to real life. If she has questions.
Take away phones if she has one. Kids have free range these days and it shocks me just how many parents don’t know what their kids do on phones. I’d say she is curious after hearing kids at school and content they share. Good for you, for taking notice and doing something about it. Many don’t. This is way too young.