I feel so low at the moment, my now ex has left for his AP and has made my life hell, upon reflection of my entire relationship (20yrs) he was always toxic, he would lie, manipulate and gaslight me and was a serial cheater… now I can see this clearly that he is a horrible person that preyed upon my kindness and loyalty etc.
I can’t help but feel used and abused by this narcissist. He has totally destroyed me, whilst I have healed a lot today is just hard, I am staring at my babies and wondering how could he do this and how can he actually sleep at night knowing he destroyed our lives.
I worry I will never find happiness in a man again (not that I need one but I desire one)
I don’t know what I am trying to say here but just wanted to vent… I deserve more, I feel
Ripped off in life as I put my entire life in hold for this jerk…meanwhile he is living it up 😞 and we are barely getting through we are all in therapy but he continues to lie to his children
11 Replies
You might feel like he is living it up but he has lost the best thing he ever had in life and that is you and your kids. Ultimately this is his loss and your gain. You have your beautiful babies with you and this means more than anything and you have got of him. You could have wasted another 10 years with him, you didn’t. Focus on the good things right now, like your kids and you have got the scum out of your life. You deserve so much better and so do your kids. There will also be someone amazing out there for you, when you least expect it but right now, enjoy time creating new happy memories with you babies. Try new things and try to enjoy life with your babies moving forward. Don’t let him rob anymore happiness from you. Life is too short and needs to be enjoyed. One step at a time you will get there Mumma. Right now just be there for your babies and each other and no contact with the scumbag ex.
If this was me, I’d block his number cut contact and move away. If he wants to see the kids then he would have to go to court and fight it. Chances are he wouldn’t care.
Well he has kindly moved interstate and only text the children hasn’t phoned them. They don’t really want anything to do with him… their choice
I only have email correspondence with the asshole… I want nothing to do with him…
This was me. 20 years and I didn’t really see how bad it was until he was gone. I always defended his behaviour and temper. I should have protected my children but they unfortunately were exposed to the abuse. Time!! Time for your heart and mind to heal. I focus my energy on bettering myself and being the best mum I can be to my children. Love and support for my kids is my top priority. I can say it does get easier. And I found personally that once I let go of the anger I was able to move on. He didn’t deserve me. And I will damn sure raise my son to never treat his wife/partner that way and raise my daughter to never tolerate that behaviour. Happy to message if you feel like venting to someone. Hang in there!! You got this
Thank you for your kind words… sometimes I feel people that haven’t been in the situation don’t understand the trauma bond.. how long did it take for you to feel better…
Thank you for your kind words… sometimes I feel people that haven’t been in the situation don’t understand the trauma bond.. how long did it take for you to feel better…
One day you will see this is the best thing he did for you, leaving.
Your kids have a chance of growing up not being screwed up by his behaviour.
Feel sorry for the AP because down the track, she will be you, left hurt and devastated.
Don't chase him up for visitation, hopefully you can minimise the kids contact with him.
Protect them and take care of yourself, you and the kids are a team, you've got this.
I hope he does do the same to her, she also was having an affair and broke up her relationship and family to be with him, they both knew each other had families, truly disgusting behaviour..
Kids have minimal contact and lived 1000 of km away interstate to be with her
What is an AP?
Affair partner
Don't be low mate, you need to change how you're thinking about this.
You're free. Free of his toxic bullshit. Yes you might still have to deal with some bullshit, but he's not YOUR bullshit. You can simply walk away.
How freeing does that sound?
Life will be different for a while but ultimately, this is a good thing to have happened.