So my son has long hair at 10.
He loves it - it is for him.
He doesn’t need to know that YOU can’t tell if he is a boy or a girl. There is really no need to comment!!!
So my son has long hair at 10.
He loves it - it is for him.
He doesn’t need to know that YOU can’t tell if he is a boy or a girl. There is really no need to comment!!!
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19 Replies
It is what it is. I had short hair was called a boy all my life. If he loves his hair then that is all that matters. I know plenty of boys with beautiful long hair. Look at links son, his hair is beautiful but many would mistake him for a girl. It’s not offensive it’s old school and how people grew up short hair boys, long hair girls but times are changing. Tell your son to embrace it and be proud of it, if he loves it then nothing else matters.
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It’s life it happens all the time. Short or long hair. Blonde or red hair. Anyone is always going to cop these remarks. It’s not just hair, it’s anything!
Happens to my son too, he hates it!
We have pre programmed ideals on what male & female look like. It's not a conscious thing, I don't necessarily judge but make an assumption on first glance. It'll change as stereotypes fall, but it's nothing serious. I get it noted all the time how short I am & in my 20's used to sometimes get asked where my mother was. It's annoying but just assumptions people make.
To you feel the need to verbalise your assumptions? That is the difference here. As a stranger your opinion or assumptions on my child’s gender does not need to be voiced.
In your case the question was out of care though so it is a little different.
I don't vetbalise at all. Ever. I go about my business because I know what it's like. Just try to explain why people do it, obviously badly.
By being different myself in a way people comment on - 'gosh, you're short!' and other disparaging comments on my slightly lower than standard height (5"1') constantly - I had to accept they're going to say it regardless of the fact it's obvious and negative. I tell them politely THEN AND THERE the comment isn't helpful or makes me feel bad. Doesn't make me popular but it stops them and makes them think.
I’m well aware why people do it!
I just saying it is not necessary
People can have assumptions- it doesn’t mean they have to share them!
Hear, hear! Completely agree with you
If he loves it then what’s the problem? People don’t mean offence by it. They aren’t calling him names or bullying him . If it is affecting his confidence and he is worried about it then it becomes a problem.
As a child, having your gender constantly questioned due to the length of hair is absolutely going to eventually wear down confidence.
It is an attack on identity.
It doesn’t matter if offence is meant. It is not needed to be said out loud!
But it’s never going to change and we’ll if it affected my son that much that it would affect him, then I’d cut his hair because it will never change and I know that.
I will cut it the second he asks. However surely people can do better! Grow small minds Grow
But it won’t happen that’s what I an saying. In a perfect world, nobody would comment on anyone’s appearance but it’s not going to happen , so if you think it would affect his confidence then cutting it would be the only way to avoid this. If he doesn’t want it cut, which he shouldn’t then try and help him with some words to answer them with. We know people can do better but they won’t. I have never asked if someone was a boy or girl, no matter what, even if I was thinking it.
Long hair on boys and men has been common since the 70s it’s time for people to stop commenting, other than what gorgeous hair!
My 10yo has long her. We keep it undercut as he has alot of hair. He's always mistaken for a girl but he doesn't care.
You can't control what other people say or don't say, you are clearly letting it bother you. My son has long hair and has had for as long as he has been able to vocalise his wants, he also has a unisex name that is more commonly a female name, he is well aware people mistake him for a girl and he doesn't care, we have talked about it and it doesn't bother him so it doesn't bother me. It's a life lesson, you can't control other people's reactions and it is important to understand that people will react a certain wsy but you have the choice about whether or not you are upset by it. I love that my son doesn't care and is just happily himself.
Sometimes life is not about letting a child do everything that makes them ‘happy’
Life’s not fair and it’s a hard lesson when we are taught to be vain and self centered
Want to go to a certain school, dress code might be short hair
Want to join the army, required short hair
You came here seeking opinions
This is mine
I’d never say without asking but my opinion doesn’t have to match yours
Or are you only seeking the opinion you want to hear
Either way
Your child your choice