Hi ladies,
I'm asking you to share your stories with me regarding only children.
I have an 18 month old and I'm not sure if having another child is an option at the moment and I don't know when it will be.
I grew up as an only child until I was 10 then at 14 i became one of 3 which turned a life I was so custom to, upside down.
I always told myself I wouldn't do that to my children but will I get 10 years down the track and regret only having one?
Can anyone shed some light on this for me?
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
6 Replies
My son is an only child, I don't regret it at all. I made the best decision I could for MY family and that includes my son. There are times where I think it would have been nice but the negatives would have fat outweighed the positives for us so I know it was right.
I didn't make the definite decisions until my son was about 7.
If you don't have age related fertility issues to worry about leave the door open for a bit longer. My sisters and I are 3 years a part we are all very close so if you don't have to decide today, don't.
as previous reply said leave the door open for a while. my daughter is 5 and an only child, negatives have outweighed the positives for us as well. being close in age won't affect whether or not they will be close as adults. My sister and I are 17 YEARS difference and we have a fab relationship, where as my brothers and I are 2 and 4 years different and don't have any closeness. I always wished I was an only child when I was younger, and my daughter wishes for siblings, but then I love the bond and closeness I have with my daughter, as I never had that with my mother. so either way some where along the line someone's not going to be 100% happy about it. :) I'd be happy to have another in 10 years time, that is the plan :) lol
You cant predict how youll feel. All you can do us make the right choice for you right now. If youre always in tune with yourself & making the best choice, no matter what happens & when, it will be right for you, you'll give it your best & make it work.
Im 30 years old and an only child, its not something that I like. Its very lonely more so now im an adult. There's a lot of pressure around me regarding my parents, if I don't include them at Christmas/easter/ birthdays etc then they are alone. I willbe their only carer when they get old etc.. I had a very blessed childhood and didn't want for anything other than a sibling it was very lonely in that regard. Looking back now my home was very quiet and boring compared to my friends who had siblings
After losing my father suddenly & a young age. I feel very strongly that parents have a responsibility to at least try for a sibling. When you & your child's father are gone there will be a huge gap in their lives. I'm not close to my mother so I already feel that way. If I was without my siblings, not a single soul would truly know how I feel, what I've lost. That said there's plenty of time, enjoy your first bub & go back for a second when you're ready :)
can't share only child story but just i have a 21 month old and considering only having one... i just think its the more finically smart decision for us. if we have one, my daughter will be spoilt with being able to do 2 or 3 things like music and sport or 2 different sports... without me having to say, no your sibling gets to play one and you get to play one. she will be spoilt with mostly undivided attention yes,but she also has to learn to share with her friends I know I would be lazier to take her to playgroup and lots of other things if she had a sibling to play with. she will be spoilt with camping and overseas holidays more. my partner and i might get a lot more time together as asking someone to take care or 1 instead of two is easier. i might get to shop with her a bit more. we may get to spend more time together on the beach cos her brother/sister doesn't have to be somewhere too. she might be great at something thing cos i was able to give her every opportunity to pursue what makes her happy.....
there is good and bad for both sides. i think you need to make the right choices for you. and you alone. don't think about what you think your child needs. think about what your family needs.
as for me i haven't decided yet :P