This is for those who often comment "what are the parents doing" or "the parents don't care, it's learned behaviour" or any other negative comment in regards to a child who is on the wrong path.
Some of us do care, we are trying, no they didn't learn it from us..... we are struggling in a world of people who judge, but won't offer the slightest bit of help. No we are not all addicts who just let our kids do what ever. You can be the best dam parent, do everything right, listen to all the drs, teachers, read all the books attend parenting courses, and still have children with little to no respect for others, who can be down right nasty, and commit crimes. We do spend hours at night roaming the streets trying to find our child who snuck out of the window, raid bedrooms and school bags for drugs, and alcahol.....countless calm talks about how actions have consequences, dishing out those consequences.... attempting several methods in parenting and discipline in an attempt to guid them back onto the right path.
Every day, there are parents who are at breaking point, suicidal, broken, lost and alone, because no matter what they do, they feel like failures because nothing is working, in a world where we aren't allowed to do anything with out judgement.
2 Replies
So very true. As much as we like to believe all children inherently want to do the right thing, that’s just not true. There are some who don’t. There are some masking stuff that won’t come out until they are adults.
Some will eventually find the right path on there own, and others will be diagnosed with disorders that can’t be diagnosed yet amongst other scenarios.
Yes there are parents who have checked out, but you are not one of them.
I get to mostly go without judgement, these days, because my now adult child is at home with a disability, so there for im considered acceptable as a parent (although when he was growing up, it was suggested I was a ‘refrigerator mother’ who failed to read to her child).
Don't worry. It's only parents with kids that don't have any struggles that say that. My kids are smart. They're kind. They do extra curriculum activities and don't have excessive screen time. Yet the HUGE amount of money and time I've invested in helping them learn to emotionally regulate and think before they act doesn't stop their diagnoses from impacting on how they function at times. Gosh.... my son has had some incidents where he has lost control more than any 'naughty kid' I've ever known.
I've also seen children who come from really bad home situations flourish and break the cycle.
Ignore the judgement. It's the same as how people without parents are experts on parenting. Super easy to make ill informed judgement on situations that you haven't actually had to navigate personally