I have always struggled staying in routine, but at the moment it feels a little out of control. I’m a single mum with an autistic 5yo that has just started school, so I feel like I need to get a routine nailed down. We were in a good one for about a week and a half and now it’s gone down the toilet. The morning is okay it’s just the afternoon, at the moment we usually get home and she will unpack her bag and then have the iPad until she falls asleep. This is both good and bad as she does use it to regulate but it also impacts her sleep and I struggle getting her to sleep at a reasonable time (she is already difficult without it), my house is a mess and I’m struggling to stay on top of it and feel like I’m failing it all and am carrying so much guilt. I have tried so many different things including writing lists but nothing seems to work. Does anyone have any tips or advice?
5 Replies
I have 2 ADHD ASD kids and this is what we do:
- have a morning and afternoon checklist on an app and a visual on the fridge
- have set alarms for screen breaks and finishing times
- have mini equipment stations for completing chores
- have a visual timer and an Alexa for reminders
- a wind down for sleep routine
- have my own weekly tasks and daily chores checklist so I don’t get lost managing the kids
I have to do all of this with them though, or they won’t do it. It took a long while to get them doing it well too. You’re not failing, it’s just super hard.
That’s a very long time on the iPad. Write the routine out on A3 card of whiteboard and stick it up. One for morning, one for pm.
Pm routine suggestion - come home, food and drink first while talk about their day. Good, bad, friends, what they’re learning.
Then unpack bag and sort anything they have to do, forms etc.
then iPad time - 1 hour. 5pm iPad off. Craft or go outside, gardening, play with the dog, scoot round the block.
6pm - dinner then bath, teeth, pjs on, sort out any dramas etc.
7 - bedtime story and bedtime. 7.15 I will let them put a sleep story meditation on their iPad but the rule is listening only, no screens. So I set that and turn it off when it finishes.
No tips here from me. I am the complete opposite. I hate routine. I will advise though limiting screen time. Give her 2 hours max and that’s it, nothing past 7pm Take it away from her. Give her a bath and dry her hair etc each night around 7.30pm - 8 once she’s had dinner then that will set a different routine, where she knows bath brushing her or reading a book etc means going to sleep soon. See if you can also get some calming gummies from Woolies and give to her before bath so they start to work ready for bed. Not sure how good they are. They didn’t help my kids much but melatonin did.
It takes 3 weeks of doing something everyday for it to become habit. Start really simple. Don't try and fit too much into a routine. Some people it comes naturally but if you're like me routines have to be learnt and require a lot of effort. Start with a very basic morning and night routine, then after a month look at adding extra.
Look up Kindship on Facebook 🙂 It’s for parents of kids with disabilities.