Help!
For All those who have competitive children who play in Rep teams where they are benched for 90% of the game time. How do you keep their confidence up? How do you keep them from struggling with performance pressure when they finally get on the field but are pulled off after a small mistake? Mistakes that the starting players can make without being ripped from the field!
I am starting to become resentful. How do you swallow having your child treated like this!!
Please know that I know my son isn’t the strongest and probably not even the top 6-8 strongest but he trialled and made the team and trains hard twice a week for this tournament. I don’t even expect him to get equal time but I did expect a little more that 10%!
17 Replies
I’d expect equal time. It’s not pro league, it’s kids playing a game isn’t it?
It’s representative level not club level. I agree with you, but that’s not how representative level works.
You can explain to your kid, that the higher level sports you play the less likely it is that everyone gets equal time, and some people don’t get a game at all as you get higher up.
All the kids except for the top few will have decisions to make, about wether they want to take the chance and potentially not get much game time, or play for a more fun league where they gets equal time at some point in there lives.
It’s why some kids play for two teams. A more high level rep team and a more fun team where pitch time is guaranteed.
It’s a life lesson about what you want sport to be for you. There is no wrong decision, just what suits you and your kid.
There is nothing wrong with politely asking the coach about what your child needs to do in order to get more field time. What can he improve etc? Don’t ask in front of your kid, or the other parents. A polite email. There could be 20 reasons you don’t know about.
Agree - the higher level sports you play the less likely it is that everyone gets equal time, and some people don’t get a game at all as you get higher up.
My son pursued semi-professional football in UK for 5 years, trying to break into the top level. The politics, injury and field-time stress was just magnified from what he experienced here in Australia in the rep/pro space. Now he just plays at club level in a few different teams/levels and is enjoying his sport so much more.
We also heard this from many migrant ex-pro adults over the years who were the trainers and managers of club teams we were involved in in Australia
Sport for most of us is for fun. To excel takes incredible tenacity and dedication. It takes a huge toll on your body. It's not wrong to not want to be in a rep team just because you've been chosen.
Also beware - you will get 'invited' to be in rep teams but only of you can pay. This is not true rep sport, it is a business and they are selling to you.
I guess I’m just shocked that this level starts to discriminate so quickly.
While I agree it builds resilience it also shatters confidence. And in the U9s I naively didn’t think they would be so brutal.
It's a rep team. To get more time, he'll have to train harder to show he should be starting.
If he's older and wanting to go pro, a sports psychologist might help performance and overcoming performance anxiety.
If he's not serious but just enjoys the sport, finding joy in being part of the team even if you're not the star is key to enjoying it.
If he hates being a supporting player and doesn't have the ability to become a starter, it might be time to take a step back from competitive games and play in social teams instead.
We are talking about an U9 team.
But we will definitely be encouraging him to keep it fun!
Yeah. Too young for a sports psychologist. But definitely old enough for the coach to make the correct call for the game rather than for fairness. Focus on having him enjoy watching and running out pumped when it's his turn. Maybe explain that he's a sprinter to boost the game with energy and they're the distance. If he sees his role as important but different, he won't compare himself too much
Talk to the coach. These are 8 and 9 year old kids. None of them would have skills that brilliant that they deserve more field time than anyone else. If it was an U16 or older team, then fair enough, but it’s not. He would have done trials to get into the team, so someone believes he has the required skills needed to play at this level. How can he be expected to improve his skills if he doesn’t get much field time?
Oh Mumma I feel you. My son worked his arse off for years and made many rep teams but sadly despite his skills and effort he was never given equal playing time because he was went to a state school and that meant he was "less' than the private school boys.
He was in a district team that made the finals and from an 80 min game he got 10 mins playing time. I was fuming and completely ropeable for him. He was gutted. He was very humble though and despite his disappointment didn't want me to say anything. He however got the last laugh as from his very limited playing time he still did enough, and then chosen to represent the state team. That coach was amazing and fair and he thrived and had an amazing experience. It does come down to the coach and more often than not they're not actually the selectors of the team. But its about the way they see 'their' team.
You build him up you keep praising him for the job he's doing and try not to get caught up in the logistics. You'll never ever win or understand that.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.
My child doesn’t play rep as we physically just can’t fit it in. But I do feel for your child. I have coached club basketball for 4 season. It really is a tough gig. Club level, yes I believe game time should be somewhat equal l, excluding finals. Representative level is a different ball game, but in my opinion your child should be getting more than 10% game time.
I personally put this all down to the coach, your coach should working harder to bring the weaker boys up. Correct me if I’m wrong but they train twice a week yeah? Surely there is enough time in that to spend time on the weaker kids weaknesses? I’d be talking to your coach or send an email. I would say such and such has been feeling a bit flat about basketball recently. He’s feeling he’s not good enough as he seems to spend a lot of time on the bench.. I understand that it is representative basketball and you aren’t guaranteed equal game time but a little more would be nice. Is there anything you can work with him on at training? And things he could be working on too at home? so that he can get more game time? Put it on the coach.