My 11 1/2 month old daughter is quite behind in her gross motor skills. She only began crawling a month ago and still is not pulling herself up.
I know "all babies develop differently" I've heard it 100 times but I just can't shake the feeling of failure.
My husband works away for long periods of time. So it's basically me trying to raise her on my own. I try so many things to entice and encourage her but she will look at it (toy or whatever I'm trying to encourage her with) think about it, then goes and find something else to play with that's easier for her to get.
Her fine motor skills, speech and other milestones are all fine. She has been picking up sultanas and turning pages in books since she was 7 months old. She walks along while holding out hands.
Her father and Aunty were quite 'late bloomers'.
I try so hard but I just can't help but compare her to other kids.
Is there any suggestions on other ways I can encourage her or activities that will get her moving? Should I be concerned or am I being an over protective first time mum?
Failing As A First Time Mum
Failing As A First Time Mum
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler, Milestones
10 Replies
My daughter didn't crawl till she was 12 mths and didn't walk till she was 18 mths. Her speech never developed and at 2.5 yrs I knew something wasn't right I pushed our gp to do more testing we went to a developmental peaditrican and discovered she had motor speech disorder. The area of the brain that effects speech also effects fine motor skills. She was imediently booked in for therapy. My advice yes children develop at different rates BUT as a mum if you feel theirs something not quite right look into it. If I didn't push my gp and followed his advice then I would have waited till school started for my daughter to get help. Instead I followed my gut instinct pushed found out what was going on and she was able to have 18 mths of therapy before she hit school. If you feel your child's development isn't quite right pls for your child's sake get it checked early, early intervention is the best for your child.
My mum told me when I was a baby I didn't bother with crawling much. More content playing with a toy or a book and not overly fussed about getting on the move. She reckons I crawled for about a week then got up on my feet and started walking at about 13 months. You're doing just fine!
This is not your failure! This is the way your child is developing. Let go of thinking of it as a parenting issue. Each child has there own personality, own strengths and weaknesses.
Start to work on ways to stop comparing otherwise your going to have a really hard time coping with the school years and beyond.
If you feel there is something not quite right go to the GP to discuss.
This is not failure! If my baby got up and walked at 6 months would you think im a winner?? Would it be anything to do with the mothering? Thats what people are saying when they tell you all babies are different. Its not a competition. They all get there in their own time. Dont compare, dont expect, dont push. It seems 'late' to you but in the big scheme of things its not, shes not even 1 year old. If still in doubt, see your dr, theyve seen it all& can tell you if she has an issue. Personally, it sounds like shes working on other areas at the moment, & doing great!
You need to stop comparing your daughter to everyone else's children, every child is different and reach there milestones at different ages, I absolutely hate how mothers gloat how early there child did this did that in front of other mums, yes be proud but try and tone it down about when your comparing your child to one that hasn't crawled walked ect, please don't let it be like your in some sort of race or competition, they all get there in the end regardless what age!! Just enjoy motherhood and each stage
I so agree! I was the opposite and used to complain about my early motor developer. It was a nightmare as he was continuously in danger climbing out of his cot and his window in the middle of the night and he wasn't yet 1! By the time he was 3 he had been diagnosed with multiple disabilities. Being ahead at 1 or 2 is no guarantee of continuing to develop at that pace.
I think this is more your problem to deal with. Your daughter sounds like she is developing into a clever little lady. First children do take longer to progress to walking. My first didn't walk until he was 1, whereas his little brother started at 9 months. It isn't a competition, she will get there in the end.
I think this is something which you need to work with yourself on. Or you will have these problems at all milestones. talking, Toilet training etc.
Hey mumma! Whenever your concerned always a good idea to have a chat to your maternal child health nurse, even if its jusy to put your mind at ease. :)
Listen tho, you are sooo not a failure! ! You can't force a child to do things until they are ready. She will get there and you are right, they do do things at different stages. My oldest walked at 12 months...my youngest walked at 9 months. I didnt walk until I was 2 and I never crawled!!! There was nothing wrong with me, just loved skidding around on my bum! Lol
What you are doing now, with encouraging her with toys is great! Now can you please tell me how thats failing? you sound like a terrific mum to me! :)
Heck, my brother in law walked at 6 months apparently...... Where is he now... in prison for dealing meth, has severe back problems, has addiction problems, keeps crashed his car twice into kangaroos because he speeds too much! I recon it was the walking too early that did it ;)
my first was walking at 10 months and my second walked later at 12 months. With my second I was like "please don't walk yet, I cant chase after both of you!" LOL.
Your baby is already crawling and the average time to walk is 12 months, so in two weeks time if she starts to walk she is bang on average. If she was walking now she would be advanced. Sounds like she is doing really well and is normal. :)