Our daughter is telling people we beat her, and we don't know what to do about it. She's in councelling but she refuses to talk. Her attitude towards teachers is disgusting and only 2 weeks into school is on a suspension warning. This isn't a new thing, it started almost a year ago, because all her new friends have fb, snap and other social and we don't allow it at her age. We have a curfew and she wants to roam the streets at night. How dare we ask her to clean her room, or get the washing off the line once in a blue moon. We are close to putting locks on windows because she's attempted to sneak out at night and been caught... God knows how many times she managed to get out un noticed. Shes been caught vaping, and disruptive to other calsses. We have realised cans of alcahol have gone missing. The principal today, called hubby in, because she waged school again and went to maccas with a large group. He's been told we beat her too, but sees right through it thank god, but people on the streets are starting too look, like friends parents, and not so close extended family. Other then counceling, what can we do? there is no point in telling her to stop hanging with her friends. She will just do it anyway. To be honest I can't blame them for all this, she's a big girl and has her own brain. I'm not about to blame them for her behaviour not matter how they behave. We told her today, if she's suspended, she will be going to work with dad, as he is self employed, sitting in the shade, doing her school work, it's not gonna be a holiday..... the councillor isn't offering much help. She suggests getting her out there doing more with family, try to find better friendships, encourage her to go to school, but we already do that. HELP.
4 Replies
Maybe take her out of school for a week. It would kill her probably. Up and out to work with dad. School work and reading to do. I think vaping and bunking and sneaking out is far enough. If she wants to act like she needs to be watched by mum and dad 24/7 that’s what she gets. She’ll learn to choose her battles.
Enrol her in a club. Get her to choose something. See what school runs. After school club? Or pcyc? Trampolining, cadets, swimming, I think this is what counsellor is saying, get her out there it’s really good for their self esteem, and they make friends who also have pretty good self esteem.
Drag her in to the place station and tell her to make a report of this is what she believes and get them to explain how serious lying is false accusations. I’d be furious. My daughter sane she doesn’t have a phone or social media either. Take away anything she has access to. Leave her off school for a week and scare her into thinking she’s going to a another school until she stops lying. Put bells outside the windows so you can hear when she gets out and call police report her missing if she leaves. Be hard on her and don’t take her crap. She needs a psychologist. Sounds similar to some girls my daughters grade 8 it’s shocking. Don’t allow her any money either. How does she buy vapes. Ask school to supervise toilet breaks coz that’s when they do it! Our school stand a lady outside of the girls and they go in one by one, not groups.
Can you please speak to her on her own and make sure that she hasn’t been abused or anything. You need to take this seriously and get to the bottom of it. It sounds like she is dealing with some hidden trauma. Take her away for a night and spend some time together somewhere and talk with her and get her to open up to you. There is a reason she is being like this and as a parent it’s blood hard but you need to be on her side, be very open and get her to open up without judgement. Be prepared for the Answers, support her and don’t react. You don’t know if she is hiding some trauma that she feels she can’t tell someone.
It would be easier to help if we knew her age