No court order's, Dad pays his child support but our boy is 9 1/2 and ever since Dad got a new family he hardly ever sees his son. We had an agreement every 2nd Saturday for the day.
He saw his son 4 time's last year and we're almost at 2mnonths again.
I was told by a lawyer I don't have to continue to ask, I have a year of texts clearly showing me asking.
But my heart keeps breaking for our son and feel like if I don't say something or ask Dad, Dad will never ask even if he doesn't bother to reply.
I don't know what I'm meant to do?
Not ask, or ask?
5 Replies
Sending him messages won’t change the situation. It won’t stop you feeling sad for your son, and won’t make him parent.
You now need to focus your energy on coping and managing your emotions and learning to let go of the hope.
If you need to get your kid counselling, or give him extra time with a good quality male role model (don’t get a boyfriend for this purpose) then that’s a good way to focus your energy in a positive effective way.
You can't force him to spend time with his son. Just let it go and be the best support u can be for your son
Give it up, it’s more painful this way. He has made it clear. I think you need to create a new life and memories for you little boy. it’s cruel and it sux but it’ is what it is and nothing will change it. He’s obviously a loser and doesn’t give a crap. It’s so sad for you boy but it’s best to let it go now.
I replied to a post similar to this a few days ago, so I’m just going copied and pasted my response here :)
Years ago after my ex fought tooth and nail in court to see the kids - he just stopped seeing them.
The solicitor advised writing registered mail with hand to hand delivery (as in he, himself had to sign and collect it).
Said do it every month for 3 months.
Then twice again for 6mths (so 3mths between monthly and again 3 months later).
After that wait, another 3 months - make it clear in this letter you won’t reach out again and never do it after that if I hadn’t heard from him. In total that’s 6 letters.
He said that if my ex then ever took it back to court for contact, they’d see it was never though my own lack of trying.
I kept photocopies of each letter and any letter that was returned, because he never collected it was sent back to me and I’ve kept (unopened) with the accompanying photocopy in a folder.
It’s been 15 years. He’s never seen the kids since (both adults now at 21 and 18) and not once reached out in any capacity to contact the kids. I’ve kept the same mobile and PO Box. This year, I’ll close the PO Box but my number will remain the same.
Screw him.
You've done everything possible and you can't make a father be a dad.
It's unfortunate but all you can do is support your child and move forward. In a lot of ways, fathers like this enjoy being chased because they can use it to their advantage.
So follow the advice of your lawyer and just stop texting. Move on.