Tonight after several attempts I’ve left, I’m not going back. I also fear I will go back it’s consistent mind battle, he makes me feel like shit and makes me feel so worthless. He says the most Fd up stuff and somehow everything is my fault.
I keep making excuses for him and pretending like everything is fine.
I’m at my mums place it’s only a 2 bed I bought the kids and pets cause he refuses leave. This is going to be so hard but I have to do it!!!
Please tell me it gets easier and the guilt will go. Why do I feel sorry him!!!
12 Replies
It will get easier, perpetrators of family violence try to get you in a place where you feel terrible about yourself. Well done and stay strong.
It gets easier and don’t go back. Stop feeling sorry for him. You are out with the kids and I’m sure he don’t feel sorry for you. Don’t listen to his sob story either.
Bet he’s sleeping like a baby. He’ll just turn in on when he’s speaking to you.
Yep as they do
You’re probably in the relationship because you feel sorry for him. You pay more attention to his moods, feelings, problems than your own. He twists everything to be a massive struggle for him, it’s all about him, you’re conditioned to instantly think about how this will negatively affect him.
Look at you!!! You are number one. He is a grown up, despite what he wants to put on you, he can look after himself like all grownups can and you have the right to break up with him. Keep that focus on YOURSELF. Look after yourself and the kids. Switch your phone off for a few days and make a plan with your mum.
Make a list of what he does that is unacceptable and the reason why you can’t go back. Write down what he said. Don’t let it get washed away with a new day new attitude.
Just reading this, I know you'll go back. So any advice will probably be ignored . One day you'll be strong and follow through, and then is when you'll mean it and advice will be taken. Good Luck xx
She may or may not go back
They almost always go back many times before they finally leave for good. It's a process. At least she's admitted it and the chances of her returning will be very high 'until'.
Don’t go back, think of your children, if you think you’ll get sucked back in - please put your children first, they deserve better even if you think you don’t.
Hey there you! I left and yes it was soooo darn hard. Especially because he had me believing I was crazy, it was all in my head and that I would die if I left him. I thought my life was over but it was just beginning!!!
I am over 9 years down the track and repartnered for over 5. My current partner is so darn lovely I feel like crying whenever I think of what I used to live with! I sometimes think about what if... what if I never found the courage to leave and missed everything good in my life now. What an awful thought.
It will take time, lots of time to heal but you can do this! One step at a time. Baby steps. Get to Centrelink and speak to a social worker and make an appointment with a DV Counsellor. You have got this and remember, you only feel weak because he has sapped your energy. You will not always feel this way 💗
I was in a similar situation and fled to my parents with my child and pets.. best decision I ever made. Was very hard at first but it slowly got easier. As you start to find yourself again you will begin to realize that it was the best thing you could have ever done. Stay strong, you have got this!!
Putting yourself first for once takes some time to learn
Start by doing little things for yourself that you enjoy