I am at such a loss. My husband is constantly up my guts about reducing the cost of groceries which is easier said then done when the price keeps going up. Well tonight I find out he is spending in excess of $100 a week on alcohol but he tells me I need to cut the cost of groceries. He also hides a lot of the alcohol from me. I put back the $7 box of hot chocolates because I don’t “need” them however he can drink beer like it’s water. My husband has liver damage and said he’d give up for our young children. Also when he drinks he becomes very nasty. His father is an alcoholic with health problems from alcohol so I honestly thought he’d want better for himself. I am at such a loss
6 Replies
Your husband is showing some hallmark signs of alcoholism.
It takes precedence over the bare necessities.
He hides his alcohol consumption.
He's a mean drunk.
Liver damage won't even make him reconsider his lifestyle.
And he has that genetic predisposition for addiction.
My grandmother was a raging alcoholic, my dad, aunts and uncle's hated her for it but they all went on to fight their own battles with alcohol and gambling. You would think that growing up with it and living it would be enough to make a person want better but it can be a real generational curse sometimes.
You are more than likely going to be faced with some difficult decisions going forward. Of course you can speak to him about all this and plead with him to get some help but ultimately he has to be able to acknowledge that his drinking is a problem and he has to actually want to get help within himself. Realistically, that epiphany doesn't usually come until the person has lost everything and their health has deteriorated to the point it can no longer be ignored - sometimes that isn't even enough.
You'll need to decide how much of this you're willing to tolerate before you have to draw the line in the sand and it probably wouldnt hurt to start making a plan regarding separation so you're prepared if it comes to that.
The is a genetic disposition for alcoholism.
He will need to recognise it as a problem for meaningful change, which is much harder with legal substances.
He will need support
Your husband is also an alcoholic. Sorry his behaviour is classic alcoholic behaviour.
Tell him to go grocery shopping by himself. My ex used to whinge about how much I would spend shopping but whenever he did it it would be twice the amount I would spend.
He an alcoholic so what makes sense to you is not what the denial of that disease creates in his brain. Honestly m, if he doesn’t acknowledge the problem you have to understand the promises will be empty and alcohol will become the priority over everything. He will prob have to hit rock bottom (lose everything) before he changes. Get prepared to separate at some stage (mentally and financially)
My dads and high functioning alco. I wish my mum left him when we were little. The trauma of it all still affects me.