For those of you who have been there - advice or tips would you have for separating from your husband?
I've been thinking about it for almost two years now (and, to be honest, there were probably signs of incompatibility over the 12 years in total we've been together).
Neither of us are bad people, we're just no good together. We've tried to talk through what each of us need but I honestly don't feel that our hearts are in it (and I take my share of the responsibility here). We have 2 kids (2 and 4 year old) and need to be smart to stay civil because I never want my kids to get roped into adult problems.
I don't want to talk to my friends or family about it because I think they'll talk me into staying married and I don't want them to think poorly of my husband - as he's not done anything "wrong". I simply am not in love with him and can't give him what he needs nor he give me what I need.
What would your first step be? Or what would you do before even having the separation conversation?
1 Replies
12 years is a long time to throw away? Are you sure your not in love with him anymore or are you just not in love at this moment? Is there something he can improve ? Is there something you’re missing from the relationship? Have you considered going on a holiday alone to find your mojo.. 😅 I think sometimes we fall into routines and mundane life in general and we forget to have fun, laugh with our partner. You were obviously compatible at the beginning, what were you doing then that you don’t do now? Dating? Dressing up , going out together without children? You probably gave each other more affection/ attention etc. I just think people are to quick to give up, like they quick it’ll be easier with someone new but you’ll have similiar problems in the next relationship, x amount of years in if you don’t do the work. Love takes works, mainly it takes not giving up.