I’ve recently started a new relationship, it’s only a couple of months in. We met online and I made it pretty clear early on that I wasn’t interested in someone who was a player, we get along great and things have been going really well.
Here’s the deal, I was a bit suss on a couple of work related dinners/drinks and it’s come up that he was actually visiting an ex girlfriend who’s quite fragile at the moment, she wants to re-kindle but he doesn’t but wants to tread carefully with her.
I find this quite upsetting that he wasn’t honest with me and has spent this time with her. He apologised but said he found it hard to detach himself from her.
Am I wrong for being upset and walk away or should I just see this as an early issue that we confront now and work through together? We all have a past and I’m far from perfect but I feel really hurt about this so I’m not sure if I’m wasting my time.
11 Replies
He's a liar - not something I could live with.
And FYI, no one wants a player, not saying he's a player, but a player isn't going to say "oh, since you don't want a player, I'll move on".
Part of being a player is being deceitful and pretending you're the exact opposite of what you are.
Words mean nothing, actions means everything.
Not worth it, he’s a liar, and is more worried about not upsetting his ex, versus setting healthy boundaries.
All deal breakers.
He's not over her yet. Walk.
OK listen - My ex really wants to get back together with me, she's made this obvious. I don't want to get back together with her. I'm going to go on multiple dates with her to make it clear that I'm not interested.
Doesn't make sense does it? He's not being truthful. Let him go, you shouldn't be going through this especially not at the start of a relationship.
Uh yep. He’s a liar because what he did was wrong. Pull the pin on this guy and do not fall for the ‘shes mentally unstable’ routine. Surely you’re not buying that are you? There is zero reason he couldn’t tell you and involve you BEFORE he was caught out, he made all these choices just didn’t want to get caught.
Walk away it’s so wrong. If he liked you so much, he wouldn’t be trying to repair her. End it now before you get too far in. You’ll never trust him. He’s a liar end of story.
Whoa, early days and he is already doing this. Run.
I made this mistake. My ex made out he was helping one of his mates exes because his mate had passed away and she was struggling. They had been separated for years before he passed. Yep he was screwing her.
RUN
Ahhh no! He is definitely not over her and is pissing in your ear. I bet if you asked her , it would be a different story. Just end it and be done with the lies and future betrayals and heartache. He’s a waste of time.
Run, end it, and never look back
This is not “teething issues” this is cheating and lying.
He is still seeing his ex.
You need to dump him and move on.
I think there is unfinished business with his ex. He may not want to get back together but it’s not the right time for a relationship for him or you when he’s not finished with the last one. It will just lead to heart ache.