How do I nicely break up with a friend?
I feel we have grown apart (we don’t have anything in common anymore) and I feel drained after we catch up.
Is there a nice way to not be friends?
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8 Replies
Why do you need to break up? It sounds really childish and I don't think there's a nice way to do that. If there's no reason just keep distancing yourself, don't respond to messages or interact with them on sm as that will give mixed vibes. They will get the hint eventually.
Not the OP but I tried that way and it didn't work.
Some people can't or refuse to take a hint.
She was ringing, demanding to know why I wasn't talking as much.
When I said I didn't want to be friends anymore, she even contacted my sister "out of concern".
The people who are high maintenance and generally drain all the life out of you and make you feel like you need to physically break up with them, aren't usually the type to go away quietly or without a fight.
Op, be brave and just say you don't want to be friends anymore.
You get to choose who's in your life and don't have to justify/explain it to anyone.
I chose not to say all the reasons I didn't want to be friends anymore because I didn't want to hurt this person's feelings.
If I was trying to repair the friendship, then obviously I would talk through this kind of stuff.
Good luck.
That sounds a bit rude. Ignoring someone and hoping they get the hint.
Similar to ghosting someone. The only time it's OK to do that is if it's in you best interests (safety) to do so.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with how you would like to go about it but perhaps just saying "look, I think we've grown apart and I think it's best to go separate ways" might be uncomfortable and confronting for you but just imagine if your close friend just started to ignore you?
It makes people desperate for answers and try to get ahold of that person more.
That's not fair.
Do you all really officially break up with your friends when you grow apart? Because that is weird. In my 43 years I've never done it, I have had so many people that I've grown apart from though and they naturally down grade to acquaintance mode without me needing to break up with them. Actually I do remember my best friend from school telling me she no longer wanted to be my best friend and I took it really hard at 8. I remember that but I don't remember how I just naturally drifted apart from other friends it just happens. Create the distance, don't send mixed messages but you don't need to be confrontational about it.
I thought as an adult, we could slowly drift apart, it could happen organically.
However, this is not possible with some people.
If someone had a conversation with me about this I would be mortified and want to know what I had done wrong and take it kinda personal that someone went out of their way to break off our friendship. Eww. Yucky vibes
I would just fade out and say I was ultra busy. It has worked for me when I felt my values did not align with someone else's. I 💯 percent took the blame and just said my life was ultra hectic and I have too many plans. If you are going to break off a friendship use the 'it's me' thing.
This seems so icky. You'd just be going out of your way to make someone feel like shit and they haven't really done anything wrong, you two just don't have much in common anymore. They don't deserve to feel like shit because of that. That's just selfish of you.
Tbh you don't know what that person is going through behind closed doors. I would just say that you're really busy atm.
Say your busy when she asks to catch up.