Low self confidence

I'm feel very unattractive.

I'm a single mum of a 9 year old little man who wants his mum yo go out and meet someone, get remarried and give him brothers and sisters.

It's not that easy.

I tried dating and I was seeing someone a year ago who turned out to be cheating on me. (I found out when she tagged him on Facebook Christmas Day.)

I was emotional for months and ate stuff that was unnecessary. I put on over 10 kgs and felt worse. I know I dodged a bullet but he seemed perfect and was a perfect let down.

I did a lot of thinking about my self image and I am not attractive like my sisters. I have always had body image issues and growing up I was bullied because of a facial birth defect. It has really affected my personality and if any attention is paid to my appearance by another man I think there is always a sinister alterative motive.

One sister has said I am fat, ugly and have a mono brow. She went on to say some other things and I slapped her. My mother said my sons father wouldn't have normally gone out with me but saw $$ so he did. He apparently used me which is crap but being told that you would never amount to anything and no one would be legitimately interested in you hurts.

Last Christmas shook me and I started eating and not looking after myself. Sure I made good decisions about my child's nutrition but I started bunging on food that I didn't need. It was so easy to get a coffee (routine) and then add like 4 little macaroons from Maccas. Or go to San Curro and have coffee with chocolate churros. Or fries daily from Maccas in the car. I knew it was wrong but I did it.

I am not really sure what my question is apart from how can I improve myself to be wanted by someone who doesn't just treat me like a fall back option? How do I meet someone like that? I just feel so hopeless that even though I am dieting now and starting to loose weight that I am never going to be good enough.