Hey mummas
Just wondering if anyone has any tips to stop my 7 years old son from climbing in my bed at night? I feel like I've tried everything!
I have him 100% of the time, we've never co-slept, he's always has his own bed room with a nice comfy bed. He did do it when he was little around age 3-4 but he stopped for a while but started back up again when he started school, I know school was a big change for him so I wasn't really too worried about it but now it's gone on a little too long! 2 years!!
I have tried a few things like I've walking him back to bed consistantly some times 5-6 times a night, I've given him melatonin to see if that help, always made sure he had a full belly and his night time routine is the same every night! I've made his room comfortably for him, he's got a special teddy that I had when I was a kid that he sleeps with, he has a night light too, I did change his bed from a single to a double which helped for a few weeks because he was rolling out of his single and jumping in with me. I've talk to him about it and seen if there is anything that's making him feel like he needs to come to my bed but he dosent know and now I feel like its a habit to just wake up and come to my bed. Lately though I've just been so tired that I don't even hear him sneak into my bed at night anymore, I just wake up to him ontop of me or kicking the hell out of me! Some days I've slept through it but I've woken up with a very sore back and legs because he been ontop of me! I work full time so being woken up consistantly is actually taking a toll on my work and my body, I'm just so exhausted I feel like locking my door just to get one good night sleep!!
Any advice would help!
8 Replies
What about a mattress on your bedroom floor? That way he can have the security he needs of being close to you without actually being in your bed.
What I did with my son though (because literally all else failed, including a mattress on my floor), I put a TV & DVD player in his room. He'd fall asleep watching a movie, if he woke up he would restart the movie. It got to the point I could turn it all off after he fell asleep, then it got to where I could turn it off at about 9pm when he got drowsy.
He always knew he could turn it all back on if he woke up and felt scared or whatever.
That's obviously not the most ideal solution but it worked for us and that meant we were both getting enough sleep to function.
It sounds like he just needed sound, light - sensory input to feel secure. I think we sometimes judge ourselves and others too harshly. If it works, it works 🥰
I leave the TV on, no sound when I sleep too.
This is definitely a cultural thing. In some cultures it's perfectly normal and acceptable. I will say that mine all co slept at one stage or another especially when needing that little bit of extra security. They do eventually stop and really do not want to as teens haha.
I would actually sleep in his room on a mattress/single bed to get him used to not getting up to go into yours. It's also handy as you can figure out if anything is waking him up throughout the night e.g. a cold breeze, sound, bright light etc.
Put on a guided meditation for kids, there are some good ones on YouTube and some people put a nice calm diffuser in the room.
Stay sleeping there until he gets used to settling and stays in there all night. It's important for him to get up and see you are there so teaching himself to self-settle and go back to sleep in his own bed.
Good luck mumma 💕 Hope you give us an update at some stage
He probably has anxiety and until you treat that it won’t stop. My son has bad anxiety and has always been like this. He is now 14 and still the same but he does see a psychologist. Pop a mattress in the floor for him and don’t force him to sleep on his own. Or go lay in his bed until he dozed off. It’s hard but you need to understand the anxiety part of it at bed time. Also try some melatonin a few hours before bed. It helps my son.
If it’s only you then the empty house I think bothers them more and they want more to cosleep. My kids sleep better when they are in their own beds next to each other but if one comes to me in the night the other will too, or if one is away the other will want to.
Make a bed on the floor so he doesn’t wake you, and in high stress times just let him come in. He will sleep through when he can. Feeling supported and connected helps that feeling of safety come quicker. My oldest who was terrible with night time anxiety sleeps through beautifully now, has since about age 9. (From 7-9 slept well but came in to my bed for stages, from nightmares or worries). Before 7 slept awfully consistently!
To my son bed time is thinking time. He is alone with his thoughts which crates the worst anxiety. He feels comforted and safe knowing I am next to him. It’s the only way he can sleep. Be patient and find a way to help him. Let him sleep in your room, he’s only little for a while. Pop a mattress next to you on the floor.
Chuck a mattress on the floor. He won’t come in forever!!