Hi sisters. I need some help. I’m seeing a psychologist and taking lexapro to help manage my crippling anxiety. I have long suspected I may also have ADHD. I have terrible sleep, difficulty getting out of bed, feel overwhelmed by life, super sensitive, I overcompensate, always late and don’t learn the same way many others do.
For the past few years I have been drinking an awful lot, there has been a bit of grief at play and I’ve behaved so badly. I have humiliated my kids and partner. I never ever meant for this to happen. After having been through this myself as a child with an alcoholic parent I really am hating myself. I work so hard and then I slip again. I don’t even know how it happens a few fun drinks slide into unconscious, can’t stand up and talking rubbish rear their head. My partner filmed me on the weekend and I’m so embarrassed, I don’t remember any of it. Why do I keep doing this? I’m an educated person with a great career and loving family. What’s wrong with me.
I don’t want to lose my family. I feel like they will resent me for the rest of my life.
I’m a good, supportive friend with many close to me but I cannot tell anyone about the depths of this problem as I feel sick facing it myself.
I’m not sure what I’m asking, I know I need to get better. I just need to know there is light.
Messing up my life - anxiety, alcohol and maybe ADHD
Messing up my life - anxiety, alcohol and maybe ADHD
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
5 Replies
It does not sound like you have a thorough diagnosis and that's where I would start. I have a trauma background and find it difficult to settle and concentrate. I was diagnosed with PTSD and am triggered at times in my life when things are not going well which could mimic ADHD symptoms. My grief also triggers other unpleasant memories and symptoms. I have improved but went the non conventional route of Hypnotherapy. I just needed a safe space to sit and I am familiar with trauma focused CBT and it was not for me. I hope that your Psychologist is also looking at the trauma from your past and considering at least DBT? I also have turned to alcohol in the past. I knew I had to stop so just started with buying lighter alcohol and only having a small amount in house. So instead of trying to go cold Turkey, controlled drinking or a stepped approach may be more helpful. I have improved but I know when I am triggered so can recognise it's going to take time for me to be okay. Take care
*hugs* I have just started to come out of a period similar to this, displaying many of these types of behaviours (long-term ongoing anxiety, excessive eating/drinking, shit with money, sensory overwhelm, unable to be on time, executive dysfunction etc) with an ADHD diagnosis. I'm 42. It's definitely been a while coming but I do not regret getting it sorted.
As the above poster said, there are a few things which it could be, including ADHD. It certainly sounds like you've got a bit more going on than simply anxiety, and you would be best speaking to your/a GP who understands these things and who can help you take the steps to get yourself sorted.
Go visit your GP and get the help you deserve lovely.
You'll probably have to quit altogether, I had to do the same with cigarettes.
It's freaking hard, but so worth it in the end.
There is definitely light x
You need to admit you're an alcoholic, that's your first step, you need to quit drinking and sort out why you feel the need to drink to such excess.
Until you sort out/deal with your underlying problems and admit these things, you'll keep doing it and eventually end up with no one.
Speak with your GP and get it started.
My dad finally quit drinking this year after 40 years of drinking every day. He almost died this year, that was his rock bottom, having his family and the doctors tell him that if he had one more drink his liver would fail and his kidneys would shut down scared him enough. Now he's in a drug and alcohol program dealing with it all.
Hey! You sound like me!! It's a vicious and ugly cycle. Get yourself into a programme, AA or similar, be prepared to hurt a bit more before it gets better. I have a couple of kids, some saw me in my prime and the others were born in sobriety, I got a mental health care plan done through the GP (several!) and it's hard bloody work. I am about 10 years in and life is pretty bloody good. I still struggle with anxiety, kids, life, people, making and seeing through appointments, cooking meals, being kind and all that life throws at me. But, it's better than not remembering the where/who/what/how and whens and being sick of being sick. Good luck! Tough battle, but well worth it!