I’d love to hear IM’s opinions on this - do you got out dancing with your girlfriends if your partnered? Im in my early 40s and had my kids young so they’re grown up now. I go out with some of my girlfriends a few times a year ( granted most of them are single as happens when you’ve been a single mum most of your life) and see and band and dance, sometimes until 1 or 2 in the morning.
My partner thinks I am acting as a single person doing this and doesn’t like it….. Thoughts?
Ok for a mum to go out without my partner until late?
Ok for a mum to go out without my partner until late?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
12 Replies
Nothing wrong with it. Do you also do dates nights with him though?
Of course it’s fine. You’re a grown woman and can do as you please
I don’t see an issue with it. How often does he go with his friends? As long as both people within the relationship have the opportunity to go out without the other then it’s fine. If one regularly goes out but the other doesn’t get the same opportunity then there’s a problem within the relationship. If he is choosing not to go out with friends without you, then that’s on him.
I'm in my 40's also with teenage/adult kids. I don't go out dancing, I have no desire to as that's not my scene but I do things without my partner like lunches, movies etc. He goes to the pub probably once a week with his kids or friends and is usually home by midnight. I have no problem with it but I know that I'm welcome to go if I want, just like he's welcome to join me and if he's not working he does tag along. We don't feel like we need a break from each other and enjoy spending time together, we are friends as well as lovers but it is still good to do things independently. My grandparents did everything together from going to shops, Dr appointments, everything. It was sweet but when my Nan suddenly passed my pop went downhill so quickly as they were inseparable and he didn't cope well after 50 years together.
That’s normal! And needed! Acting like a single person is every weekend, or saying he can’t go or can’t pick you up. Or disappear and don’t show up til next day.
Why he not trust you or think this is too much? A few times a year having a social with adults til 1 or 2 is not a lot.
Yes I went out quite bit with my friend when she became single.to keep her company and have fun We had some of the best times, I’ve ever had. My husband was fine with it and if he wasn’t, I’d still go because I am me and no one will stop me or dictate what I should and shouldn’t do. I also would be fine if my husband wanted to. I prefer to go with my friends dancing and fun.
Do stop don’t stop.. go girl 💃🏻 This is your life and you are absolutely doing nothing wrong. It’s a stupid statement he’s making 🙄 a mum goes out to have fun. She’s acting single. Plllllease! There is nothing acting single about it.
I do and stay at Friends all night coz I couldn’t drive home. Not often but I do it. No one will hold me down. I’m a good mum. I look after my family well and hell yeah, I deserve a night of dancing with my friends.
I guess in his mind, you go out to pickup only. Keep that in mind when he goes out, I bet he does it way differently to how you (we) do.
Your partner is insecure and that's HIS problem.
My partner and I both socialise together and separately, depending on the friend groups. He has absolutely no desire to sit in a nightclub & watch our bags while we hit the dance floor 😂 but he'll happily come pick us up & drive a load of drunk women home.
Same with him - I have no interest in going out with his single mates perving on girls - but I completely trust my partner to keep his hands to himself, so no big deal.
Don't stop doing innocent things because your partner disapproves. That's a straight road into him controlling what you do and who you see.
I've been shacked up for over 25 years. In my 40's, our child is an adult.
Back in the day I'd go out maybe 1-2 times a year. From hens nights to clubbing with the girls. Clubs aren't really my thing though so now I'm older I go out more but it's changed up a bit.
Girlfriends are a bit spread out so once a year we get together. Rent a house, or stay at a resort for a week. We eat out, see a show, see the sights, have some cocktails and talk.
In between I visit them all individually for a few days a year too.
I go to concerts as often as I can, usually by myself. If I travel more than an hour I get a hotel room for the night. I'm definitely spreading my wings, once upon a time I'd only go half an hour away. Furthest I've been for a concert now is 270km one way.
And I holiday solo once a year. I book a hotel or a short stay unit or I take my caravan to somewhere I haven't been before. I eat out, have a few drinks, see a band or a show, do touristy stuff for a week.
Funny thing is, my single girlfriends don't hang out at pubs/clubs looking to pick up. Some of our single male mates do though. Sounds like he's projecting his fear of what he thinks will happen based on his own experiences/behaviours. It's not on you to wear that.
Both my husband & I are old school, we don't go out to clubs and if we ever did it would most def not be without the other. Theres nothing wrong with going out with ur girls, but keep it classy.. go out to dinner together, have a wine in a non meat market environment.. Go to the movies, go have coffee, go do lunch.. go to the beach.. theres soo many other ways to be social & still keep respect for ur partner & what hes comfortable with. Doesnt matter if its only once in a while, he doesn't like it, so unless hes out doing the same thing with his buddies, just dont do it, simple.. if ur not ready to settle down, be "single" or find someone who doesnt care about what u do.. But just remember that the grass is not always greener. Sounds like you have a family type man who cares about n loves u & from what I hear, these days they're far & few between 🤷♀️