I’ve been hooking up with a guy for around 3 months. We’re both from a small town, I’m a lot older than him. We’ve been friends on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, sending each other snaps most days, not always about sex, but often.
Today was his birthday and we hooked up this morning before he went to work, enjoying ourselves, having a chat, laughing and joking in the car afterwards. He told me he’d told his mates he’s banging a hot older woman and showed them some pics from my Instagram but didn’t tell them who (I post lingerie photos). I said yeah I didn’t care if he told people were rooting. Anyway all good.
I get home and find he’s blocked me on Snapchat and Instagram but not on Facebook, where he’s looking at every story I post (you can see which friends view it).
Can someone please help me to understand this behaviour? His FB status said he’s single.
Has he caught feelings and feels awkward having the horn for someone older than his mum?
Blocking
Blocking
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
47 Replies
I'm sorry but I have to ask, is he legally old enough to consent to this situation?
Aside from that, I don't think you should waste time trying to analyse why he blocked you on certain social media platforms and not others. What I think you SHOULD do is consider if sleeping with this young man is appropriate and something that should continue!
He’s 21. Of course he’s able to consent. I’m not a pedo
TBH when I read this I thought "hmm I wonder if this is someone OP knew as a child but waited til he was legal to pursue" so I do understand why it was asked if he was old enough to consent
When I was in high school (ie, not of legal consenting age), all my friends and myself had adult boyfriends at one point. Another friend of mine's mother fell pregnant with a high school boy's baby (friends mother was in her late 30s at the time).
Unfortunately a lot of adults prey on vulnerable teenagers.
So I think the consent question is completely reasonable when the only context you gave, OP, is that you are older than the mother of the person you're having casual sex with.
If you're offended by people asking if the young person you're sleeping with is legally able to consent, you've probably got some self reflection to do.
Are you sure he just didn’t delete those socials ? Maybe just ask him and if his response is immature and playing games move on we all deserve more than that even root buddies it’s about respect.
Also If you don’t see it going anywhere why worry ignore but still move on plenty of good root around if you show them how you like it!
Honestly, why do you care about if he blocks you? He is bragging to his mates that he's banging a hot older woman and you're rooting around in cars before goes to work.
Obviously he hasn't introduced you to any of his friends because this isn't an exclusive or serious relationship.
Sounds all kid stuff. If you want maturity, stop screwing kids young enough to be your adult children.
You don’t know how old I am so how would you know if I’m old enough to have adult kids? I also know a fair few if his mates.
I didn't write this or saying I agree but you said you're older than his Mum so that would mean you're old enough to have adult kids.
People don’t block people they like/ interested in. He’s banging you and that’s all it is. If not, he would’ve seen you on his birthday night not a sneaky car shag before work.
Maybe he's trying to pursue someone else and just keeping his socials clean? I don't know but whatever it is take it as a sign that he doesn't take you seriously and that if you have been left feeling rejected then you might be the one that's caught feelings, or liked the attention.
This whole arrangement sounds like nothing more than an ego trip for both of you. He gets bragging rights about hooking up with 'a hot older woman' which I suspect makes you then feel good about yourself.
I would almost guarantee that he's hooking up with other girls and I think it's quite possible his mates have actually given him a bit of a ribbing for sleeping with someone older than his mother.
That would be my guess as to why he blocked you on those two platforms but not Facebook, it's just enough to keep you as an option without making it widely publicised that he's involved with you.
Instead of trying to understand his behaviour (which sounds bang on par with his age and maturity level) maybe have a look at your own. Ask yourself what you're actually getting out of this situation, ask yourself why you're drawn to the attention of much younger men, ask yourself if you're getting the respect you deserve because I personally don't think you are.
I am all here for women's sexual empowerment, you just need to be careful that sexual relationships you do have with people aren't self destructive and toxic or come at the expense of your dignity. This particular relationship sounds like it could be headed down that path...
Is this someone you've known since he was a child? Like one of your kids friends or something? I think he probably blocked you because he's worried certain people will find out or he's been getting teased about it. I think just move on from this guy, he sounds immature anyway.
Call or message him and ask if there's a problem, like a grown up?
If he doesn't respond, then you've been ghosted. It's a shitty thing to do, but it happens.
And he's watching your stories to "stalk" from afar.
Why don't you just call him and talk about?
I'd say he's getting shit for it and is embarrassed so he's blocked you off Snap and IG so his mates can't see you're still on his socials. People tend not to use FB that much anymore so he probably just left you on there
'Hooking' and 'rooting' , bahahah. You might be older in body but you're mind sits at 21 like him. I see why you connected. Zero maturity.
Your *
I'm 42 and still say hooking up or rooting. I don't think it has an age on it my nanna used to say rooting lol.
The use of the word "rooting" - From my life experience, it's more an indicator of socioeconomic status than age.
Yes, you can shoot me down for this comment, but just being honest.
Oh you mean only poor people say rooting? Lol. I think you're in the wrong century. I know people from all backgrounds and there's swearing amongst all of them. Get out there and meet some new people, add some diversity to your life. Don't be scared, it will add to your life experience and make you a better person.
Swearing isn't the issue, people from all walks of life obviously swear.
It's the actual use of that particular word.
You even see it on TV, when they take off certain groups of people, they always use that word.
It's a bit like the people that say yous, yous did this, yous did that.
Sounds like you use the word and don't realise how it comes across, but it's pretty crass and cringe worthy to a lot of people.
Gee, TV wouldn't be stereotyping at all, now would they? It must be true then.
My opinion is not based on TV, but you do you.
Maybe that's the way your family/friendship group speaks, but I wouldn't recommend it out in the world, it may skew people's opinion of you.
No, everyone speaks like that here. It's not like it's every second word but if you're describing two people who are having sex but not in a relationship then the word is rooting or banging. I don't care what people think of me lol.
Obviously, you end everything with lol on an adult forum.
Maybe the original poster was right, it's about maturity/age.
He's 21 and you're surprised he's acting immature? There's a reason most women prefer older men. Find one whose too old for silly games.
👏 i cant deal with younger men for this reason
There seems to be a lot of jealousy here from people commenting trying to pull the OP down. How sad. Older women are allowed to have sex with 21 year olds. Good for her! Men of all ages play these stupid little games. Not all of them but definitely all ages are capable of that. Usually when guys (or girls!) start playing around with privacy on sm they're trying to hide something. What he would be trying to hide from someone he's having casual sex with who knows.
Why do people always think it's jealousy? I definitely don't find 21 year olds attractive as they are basically not far off children to me and sorry but I've never had this BS with 40+ year old men so while any age can play stupid games it is mainly younger men that do.
Jealous? You must think her situation is amazing? However, most of us find it revolting.
A lot of us have sons around that age and are probably around the OP's age.
Last post she got pregnant remember?
So answer this, why are older men/younger women relationships so much more common if everyone is "jealous" of OP??
Wait what?? OP here and I did not get pregnant to anyone. My last pregnancy was some years ago!
You’re allowed - that doesn’t mean I would expect support about it. Also, you’re rooting, you know it, it feels good and you want the ego boost, but it’s not respectable and you can’t expect anything. If it’s a relationship you’re talking about then it’s something maybe we can help with. But this is not, and the concern over his actions and overthinking sounds a bit like that’s what you’re hoping for?
Sorry, you sound exactly the same as another woman who has written in on previous occasions, from a small town, sleeps with younger guys, incredibly immature, extreme need for attention, even uses the word root.
Maybe I jumped to jealousy because this post is about the guy deleting her off Instagram, and she's asking for thoughts on what could be the reason for that? Yet nearly every response has knocked her down in some way? I don't know, must be just me that can see that. If she didn't mention any ages would she get the same comments?
No, she wouldn't get these responses, because she wouldn't be doing something stupid.
What is your actual point Einstein?
It's like asking us advice on how to put the fire out on the front lawn when the whole house is burning.
Thinking differing opinions is jealousy is an insecurity thing. A lot of people simply don't agree with OP's actions. It doesn't make them jealous.
Yeah maybe if she didn’t mention ages, specifically the age gap and his very young age, then maybe I would give advice more towards how to turn it into dating if that’s what she wants rather than just to realise he’s having his experience and not overthink it.
I think it’s a given that this situation is a hooking up for the perks type thing (for both of them) and nothing more.
I would add that I think that’s why on his birthday he dropped that he’s told his mates he’s ‘rooting an older milf’ to remind you what it is.
I agree with this comment. If it was an older man people would probably not bat an eyelid but if it's a woman they shame her. Typical 🙄. Just keep having fun and live your own life. If it isn't anything serious I would not worry. If it worries you, then it may be time to reflect on your own feelings and possibly cool it a bit if you need to protect yourself from heartbreak x
I think you're very wrong...
I would bat an eyelid with a 21 year old woman with a 50 something year old man.
Would you find that okay? There's no way I would.
Why is a woman a MILF and a man a "creepy old man"?
I think they're both equally as creepy as each other, but that's now how people perceive it.
I don't understand why, but people don't take the power imbalance seriously when it's an older woman/younger man and are even more likely to high five the young guy. No one high fives a young woman being taken advantage of a creepy old man.
It can also be seen with lighter prison sentences for women teachers versus men, taking advantage of their students, it's actually well documented.
So if it were an older man, I believe it would be viewed worse.
For the record, I don't feel in this unique situation, the OP is taking advantage of a younger man.
I actually feel it's the reverse...
Every single post I have seen of older women sleeping with much younger men has been incredibly negative.
The mother who asked us if she should sleep with her sons friend (21 and who she knew as a child) most said NO and she did anyway and the boys mum was really mad at her and the town turned against her.
The mother who slept with her daughters friend who was a teenager (legal...but barely) and her daughter got teased for it so badly that she wants nothing to do with her mother now.
The woman who got pregnant by a 21 year old and she doesn't think he will be responsible enough (what a surprise 🙄) so was contemplating not telling him.
Now this. Is it really worth it ladies? There's a reason there's not many big age gap relationships (over 20 years) out there that work where the woman is older.
Many more years ago than I wish to admit, one of our mates was "servicing" a much older woman and not going to lie, he was and still is mocked mercilessly. It was long before SM days. Technology has changed, small towns haven't. He might be happy to get his dick wet but sounds like he's trying to back pedal with his boys.
His mates are giving him shit for it is my guess
Do you have an OnlyFans account? Asking for a friend, of a friend.
OP here. No I don’t. I do have an Instagram where I post pics in lingerie.
Is it public?
No it’s private