The pain of an affair is so debilitating and traumatising not only to myself but the children and anyone in the your social network. The now ex husband has been having an affair with the office person for who knows how long, he has now left us to be with her. Whilst I need to close this chapter as he is constantly lying to me it’s just so hard… that he has just
Moved on and I am left to pick up all the pieces.. I want closure and will never get it.
I want to find someone (eventually) who appreciates me for me and shows me love like I
Should be.
The children need a better role model in their life not this lowlife…Who doesn’t even talk to talk to them… this has been
Devastating to them.
Is it fair for me to want him to fail, to have let karma get him, myself and the children are the innocent victims here… I want him to feel the same pain I/we have.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
5 Replies
Yes it’s fair to feel this way. The best revenge is to show him him amazing you are raising your kids without him and how much you are loving life and the fact that he is now out of your life. He has done you a favour, you are better off without him. There is someone else right for you. Find your strength for yourself and the kids and move on and show him how much, you deserved better.
You have your kids with you, thats all that matters ❤️ He isn’t worth this pain.
I’m sorry your going through this 😢 I went through a similar situation. I had a baby and toddler at the time. I know it doesn’t feel like it now but it does get better. After 2 years on my own with the kids I met a wonderful man(dad) for my children and had another child with him. It’s been 10 years and we are still together ❤️. Hang in there sending lots of love to you and your babies xxxx.
The trick (and this will take time and work on your part) is to not want him to fail. It's to not care if he does or doesn't. The pain is raw, how you feel is how you feel. Now it's taking those steps to get from here to there.
For your own peace of mind, don't ever think for a second that he will feel the pain you have. He cheated, he left to be with his bit on the side - he does not have your integrity therefore he does not have the capacity to feel what you do. Know that it's enough, to have that integrity. He'll never.
I think it's completely understandable that you feel this way just don't stay in this place for too long because it's not good for your emotional wellbeing.
Completely different situation here but I was bullied pretty badly in high school, i spent the next 10 years after I'd finished school hating my bullies. I spent my time hoping with vindictive pleasure that they'd fail in adult life or be miserable and suffering in ways I did because they deserved it.
That was until I saw one of my bullies at the shops, he was with his family completely oblivious to me, my hurt and the grudge I was holding. I realised in that moment that the hatred and anger I was holding into was only affecting me, I was still giving these people the power to negatively impact me.
I don't feel any type of way about them now. The bullying is still a painful memory but I don't let these people steal anymore of my mental energy and inner peace. They took enough from me, I'm not gonna let them linger in my thoughts any more!
Your husband hurt and betrayed you in a pretty unforgivable way but you can choose to not let him continue to hurt you because he does not deserve to have that sort of hold over you.