So my partner of almost 2 years (we share a 6 mth old) was never really affectionate when we first got together. He claimed he isn’t a very affectionate person.
He is much more affectionate now and says that I’ve ‘grown on him’. He says that he’s learning to be a better partner for me and trying to change.
He never really used to have a pet name for me until what appears to coincide with him being more affectionate towards me. Also, we are intimate much more frequently now than we were back then. He would often turn me down or we’d go weeks without. It didn’t seem to bother him back then.
I once queried his ex who he shares a child with (as we have become friends) and she echoed that he wasn’t really affectionate with her either.
I told him today that I liked this new affectionate side of him and asked him when he was/last felt like that. He claims he wasn’t at all with the person he was with before me but the last time would’ve been at the start of the relationship he had with his ex that he shares a child with and he wasn’t as the relationship progressed due to work commitments.
I always thought that people were more affectionate at the start of a relationship as everything is new and in the honeymoon period, which he says he was with his ex. Whereas my partner’s feelings are the reverse of that with me. It makes me feel like he wasn’t really that into me to begin with. Thoughts ladies? Have you experienced anything similar?
4 Replies
It sounds like he needs that strong slow emotional connection to build over time and doesn’t rely on lust to build a relationship.
When I was younger I used to be highly sexual at the start but would burn off quickly once I realised who the person was and that I didn’t really like who they were.
As I’ve got older I really need that slow burn. I Have to get to know someone properly and build that connection in order to be affectionate and sexual.
Affection waxes and wanes through your long term relationships anyway, it will rarely be constant.
I have only experienced this either from the start or when I was being cheated on. I think his guilt for the better of him and I could tell that he was being affectionate out of no where and it didn’t sit right. I was right, he was cheating and trying to cover his ass without realising how obvious it was coz he knew what he was up to. Safe to say I got rid of his ass!
So you were together about nine months when you got pregnant?
Is it possible he was just giving it a go due to the unplanned pregnancy and has now, luckily, developed feelings for you?
Pregnancy, birth, moving in together, it's a lot in a short time span.
Glad it turned out well for you both.
I don't think I would read too much into it. Some people just aren't naturally affectionate and that's OK. It may be that he feels very comfortable with you now and can read your body language better than at the start of the relationship so feels more at ease.