I’m a single mum working shift work, and have an autistic 5yo who is starting school next year. I started a new job at the beginning of this year and it is 100% the area I want to work in. My mum has been helping with childcare arrangements and kinder drop offs this year but has commitments next year that will prevent her from doing the same. So I either have to change positions into an area I’m not interested in and potentially not be able to go back to my current area, or I have to hire someone to help out for the hours my child isn’t at school. Unfortunately this will include some bed times which is what makes me most anxious. Also the moment my child gets home she will take all her clothes off except her underwear which also makes me nervous for her to do with a stranger. Is there a way I can work past these anxieties? Has anyone else used in home care agencies and have some feedback for me?
10 Replies
There are people who have experience working with NDIS clients. You did not mention what level ASD but you may be able to access services through your NDIS. I would talk to a plan manager. The right person will alleviate all your fears. Having had a child myself who liked to strip off, this would not worry me at all. Keep the job you love, they are so hard to come by and your child deserves a happy mum at the end of the day.
I would be more worried about the cost than anything.
As a single mum, sometimes we have to put our dreams aside for a while, I would never have been able to make this work when my kids were that little.
Bath time, dinner time, homework, readers, you will miss it all
Plus your child has autism, so I'm sure there's strategies you have to implement, things you need to work on, the earlier the better.
I'm now a single mum of teens, they get the bus home from school, can be left home alone and I have complete freedom in terms of job, I'm even studying as well.
Just telling you in a few years you will have more freedom, it gets better, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I think at this point in time, you need to put your child first.
I should add that it would only be 3-4 days a week that I would be working. And some of those shifts would be that I would be with her after school. So the extra help would only be between 2 hours and at the most 6 hours. There is also quite a chance that even as a teen it may not be safe or appropriate to leave my child at home alone and with the way my job works I could very well progress to working normal hours in a few years.
4 out of 5 school nights a week?
I wouldn't do it as a single mum of a 5 year old and my kids weren't autistic.
I have also had to make some career and living sacrifices, still am in terms of where I live.
Its not forever, they are only little for a short while.
Anyway that's only my view, good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
The shifts won’t always be at night, it’s a mixture of day shifts 7-3.30 and afternoon shifts 1-9.30. Of which you can request and I would be requesting most of my shifts to be mornings anyway. So it would be very unlikely I would be away from her 4 nights a week. And trust me I still continue to make plenty of sacrifices in terms of everyday life, but if I was to sacrifice this job it would be very hard to transition back to it when she was older.
I don't understand why you wouldn't request all morning shifts then?
It sounds very random, how are you going to find someone to pick up the odd shift for you without regular guaranteed hours?
Isn't routine important for an autistic child?
Why would it affect your career not doing the afternoon shifts when you are still working for the company doing morning shifts?
I would say the more experience you have, the easier it would be to get into the area you want?
What kind of work is it?
I would do all morning shifts and hire the same person/same routine to take the child to school each morning.
What kind of sacrifices do you mean day to day? Do you mean just caring for your child?
Totally agree. I think you’ll find it really hard to find anyone anyway. You could go after school care, every night, and pick her up after your day shift. You won’t have to give up work you should be able to tell them that you have no other option but to only work day shifts.
You also need to consider a plan that is affordable in the long term (unless you get one of those very rare Government spots, limited to 3,200 per year) because if you are receiving single parenting top up, that will end in the next couple of years.
Most single mums (myself included) seek starting and ending hours where they can utilise before/after school care, because it's so affordable. Preferably one or the other, if possible, because it makes for a long day for your child. My hours were 8.30, so no before school care and finish time 5.00, so used after school care.
I think what you're seeking to do is unrealistic, unless you have a teenage friend, who you thoroughly trust, willing to do it on the cheap for cash.
Get cameras in the house
Wow some really negative comments for a Mum who is trying to do the best for herself and her child and yes they go hand in hand. I've been a single Mum since my boy was two,you do what works for you. If you can find a way to have someone help amd stay in the job you live then go for it, you can totally do both and you are setting an amazing example to do what it takes to be happy and succeed. Give it a go and if it doesn't work you can then decide. Maybe look at an au pair, they will become part of your family and could be a wonderful experience and help. Goodluck!