Hi sisters
I've been dating a new man for over a year now. He is a fantastic person. Loving, caring, works hard, we get on great and have an awesome time together. I love him.
My question is how common is it for a guy to not be able to cum from intercorse?
I've been with other men and had great sex and the guy has always cum. So this is new for me. My partner always gets me off, we have intercorse but then either me or him needs to finish him off with a hand job. Is there a medical condition that causes this?
15 Replies
My man is the same! He says its because he was single for so long and masterbated too much. He's amazing but sex always takes soooooo long and I'm exhausted š©
My parnter was always fine and could cum from sex, however he started in anti anxiety meds and now struggles to cum at all :(. Itās hard for him too
Try a cock ring and more foreplay for him
He should speak to his GP. Never an issue with any guy i have been with.
Iāve never experienced this either!
How frustrating though! Is it something heās looked into at all?
Poor bugger, must suck for him too!
Atleast heās not selfish in that area so itās not him just taking advantage
Are youās using condoms? That can change things? If so and youāre monogamous perhaps switching protection
Iād book in with a gp and have tests etc given itās been ongoing.
Has he always been like it?
Maybe he masturbates ātoo muchā?
I will use a satisfyer pro and if Iām perhaps overusing (š¤£) I know that the actual act with my SO isnāt as sensitive and pleasurable because of me desensitising myself.
Itās not a forever thing though, if that happens I try to be more mindful and when I slow down a bit on the self help (we live separate) itās all good again š
So many possibilities but I wouldnāt just leave it- it would be a bit off putting for me, to be the partner but also to have it happening. Sometimes you just want to be intimate without the extra things
Good luck!
Thank you for your well thought out comment. We don't use protection and we're monogamous and I can't get pregnant.
He is extremely sensitive and uncircumcised so when he does masturbate or even when I wank him we only ever have to hold the head. He says the rest of the shaft does nothing for him.
He's not a highly sexual guy which is very different for me. And he says it's always been this way and because of that he is quite inexperienced.
I get you totally with the satisfier pro lol. We live separately too and I have my needs hahaha. š¤£
I guess we'll have to discuss a gp appointment because it does bother him. I just don't know how to bring up the whole let's go see a Dr topic.
My new partner is the same. Says he's always had difficulty to cum and since going on anti- anxiety medication it's pretty much impossible. He is still able to orgasm and very much enjoys sex. It's just different. Also it means we can keep going for longer which is lots of fun and he's very attentive to my needs which is also a welcome change to what I'm used to. Definitely takes some getting used to but not necessarily a bad thing.
Is he on anti depressants or any meds like that? My partner is similar and was due to meds. He also doesnāt have the need to ejaculate, he loves sex and the feeling but the actual cumming part isnāt a necessary part of it. Took me a while to get used to it and not think there was something wrong with me but he is more than happy to have sex get me off, roll over and cuddle and feel completely satisfied with that.
Happened with an ex of mine, the sex went on for so long, he would end up getting a leg cramp and I would dry up.
The sex was shit anyway, it was super vanilla which I really didn't enjoy.
I was seeing a guy the same, it was because he'd masturbate so often, he held off for 2 weeks & then we have sex & it was fine.
Definitely because of too much masturbation, my partner had the same issue. After lots and lots of practise, he can now get there with sex. But not always. He used to handle himself quite a few times a day, like high 20s š¤£š¤£š¤£
Omg!!! This is my bloke!!!
Has been the same for 15 years I've been with him.
We have had the odd occasion where he's finished while on the job but it hasn't really worried us, especially now we've been togther ages. I used to want to make him finish, you know, like it was dependent on me but now, he goes until I've had enough, when I'm done he gets off and finishes the job himself (sometimes with my help) and if I want it, he'll jump back on and finish inside me if not it's wherever we choose.
Hope that makes sence, but long story short, it was definitely something new for me but we've made it work now we don't think about it.
Good luck xx
Edit* no meds, no anti depressants, probably pulls himself stupid sometimes like mlst blokes lol hasbt had the snip, dad to 3 kids
Thank you that is reassuring š
This was my ex, however he had a condition as a child that paralysed him for a year so he became desensitised as he got older. The only 2 times he ever came was when I got pregnant and donāt even asked how he was able too because I had no idea. He also watched a lot of porn though lol. Iāll be honest, in the beginning I was able to accept it because we were in the honeymoon phase. However, it started to kill my self confidence and I felt like it was me. Eventually, the sex became so bad and I just never enjoyed it because as I woman I never felt like I was doing something right. Just keep that in mind. If itās making you doubt your ability to make him cum, it will only get worse later. I ended up leaving due to other reasons but this was a major one for me. It really made me depressed.
My partner is similar.
It took about a year to finally get him to cum inside tbh.
I've learnt it's not anything personal, and no he doesn't have a medical condition. It seems like he takes care of himself plenty so he's just used to how he touches himself, he's quite hard and aggressive on himself. Then when you have sex you usually aren't as tight as a hand can be, so that's why my partner struggles - the exception being he doesn't cum for a week or two so it's more sensitive. I thought it was strange aswell meeting a guy that couldn't cum during sex... Thought he must not be attracted to me etc. It's not that at all.
Hes just used to his own method. My partner is uncut if that makes any difference.
If you're worried talk to your partner about it. See if he'll abstain for a little while to work towards him getting more used to the feeling of you instead?