Is it possible to actually be in love with 2 men at the same time. I am seeing to totally opposite types of men and feel that I love both of them equally I've tried many times to decide what to do ,who to be with ,who to love but when I try and distance myself from 1 of them I'm so totally sad and broken hearted I can't go through with it so keep up the affair. I'm not married to either one I just can't work out why I can't move on from 1 of them when the other man treats me like a princess and I feel I love him also .Is there something wrong with me?Is it possible to love 2 men at once? This is tearing me apart.I know what I should do but I can't stop seeing them both what is going on with my brain.
10 Replies
You are getting the best of both worlds, the parts of one that you love and the parts of another that you love. What you don’t get with one, you get with the other.
I think it’s possible to love both men but probably in different ways. You love how it makes you feel.
What isn’t good about this is, that they both deserve honesty before this homes out and you end up with none of them.
As hard as it is , you either be honest and tell them both , which I’m sure you’d lose both or just cut one on and move on and be happy together but you can’t keep this up unless it was out in the open and they were both ok with it.
You will get caught eventually and destroy the 2 men you love and yourself.
Think hard about this and cut them free and see which one you really want to be with. It’s not fair on either of them. They deserve to be treated with honesty and respect. If you love them, cut them free until you work out which one you love and can’t live without.
You don’t love either. You love this situation. You wouldn’t be happy with either one. And you’re risking losing both. And you’re hurting both. You remember this shit for your entire life, when some selfish fucker pulls it on you.
Cheating, sneaking, the unforbidden, it’s all sexy as hell, you’re loving it, but there’s no truth, trust, love, honesty happening here that you would want to give to someone you love, don’t kid yourself.
Hmmmm my theory....Neither, when you’re madly in love with someone, no other man exists, especially in the honeymoon period.
Maybe you love the way they make you feel, rather than who they are as a person?
Maybe it’s a case of FOMO?
Hope you work it out.
If this is “tearing you apart” you should see what it would do to them to find out everything was a lie and that everything you and they had was a lie. Add on top the betrayal of physically cheating and your arse doesn’t deserve either of them. Your ego boost shouldn’t come at their expense and they should be cut free to find someone that deserves them. Cheating destroys people and you honey are “broken hearted?”. You need a reality check please wake up and do them a favour. Let them go and sort your shit out. It’s not OK to do this to people.
Ok, just to clarify, what is the history and context of the relationships with the men? Are you simply dating them both?
Are you married/defacto to one?
How long have the realtionships been?
Do they know about each other?
My answer would depend on the hitory of the relationships.
Part of adult hood and being a mature person is accepting that we have to experience some pain sometimes to do the right thing.
You are behaving immaturely because you won’t accept discomfort in order to not hurt two people. You’d rather hurt them, than hurt yourself and move through the discomfort of not having one of them in your life.
"I can't stop seeing them both" -
You CAN you just don't want to.
You're going to hurt one or both of these men because you're being self indulgent.
Be an adult and make the hard choices.
Just imagine finding out someone you trusted is cheating on you. Imagine they then tell you they love you so much, BUT they also love the other person so much as well.
Its all meaningless and self serving, isn’t it.
Sorry but I love my partner that much no other man would do. I have seen men in the past, more than one at a time and felt I was not going to settle down ever again. Even though I felt emotions with them and would tell myself to choose a relationship, I just couldnt. This man stopped me in my tracks and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. When you know, you know.
I have loved 2 at once. It doesnt work, in the end a choice is made.