Lately I have been feeling so defeated when it comes to parenting my daughter. She is 5yo and is currently being assessed for autism, and there are some things I’m really struggling with at the moment. Firstly her sleep, I struggle to get her to spend all night in her own bed, it can be quite a process to get her to sleep there as she is quite anxious, but I need to start getting my own bed back. I even bought a grow clock and nothing works…
Secondly her behaviour in public, it’s not so much that she throws tantrums or anything like that she just constantly seems to be acting silly, making unusual noises, jumping around, or running around, I know these are things that she does when she is overwhelmed but I don’t know how to handle it anymore. The one thing I enjoy doing is going to the footy and she often does it there she will get in my face and make those noises and even punch me repeatedly sometimes and it’s not in an angry way just more so to get everything out. I generally bring her iPad but feel like everyone judges me for it but it does reduce the “behaviours.” I know the footy can be loud and she probably does get overwhelmed at times, but it’s literally the only thing I do for myself and don’t want to have to stop going which I know sounds incredibly selfish…
I don’t even know what the point of me writing this is, I feel I just need to vent or something I guess
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2 Replies
When you’re feeling defeated, I find it helpful to choose one thing to work on.
So I would say her sleep will affect her behaviour, tired kids are way less patient and tolerant. So either let the sleep go for now, sleep all night in your bed if you both sleep through and work on behaviours.
Or let behaviours go (because she’s tired) and work on creating that sleep routine.
If she is overstimulated, here are some suggestions you might already know :
- noise cancelling earphones
- visual schedule
- pre- warn about outings. Explain what will happen, go over it all, include the expectation of where they will sit, when they will use their screen. Ask questions about what they like or don’t like , use this to help prepare you for next time.
Bright lights? Take sunnies
Too loud? Noise reducing headphones
Wants to hit? Take a squishie ball or something she can hit. Clear rule, you can not hit mum.
If she jumps around can you find her a safe place at footy where she can jump around? Or a wobble cushion she can jump on while staying in her spot.
I think you also need to look into going to the footy by yourself or with others if you enjoy it, you need that down time.
Can someone baby sit so you can go to the footy and actually enjoy it?
Mums need time out to recharge.
With our son we do a lot of preparation for outings. We talk about it being noisy, lots of people, how holding hands will be important, how long we will be there...
Also no one is judging you for giving your child an ipad at the footy. The footy is boring for most kids. Giver her an ipad with headphones and you enjoy yourself if you have to take her.