Hi ladies I need some advice I’m in a new job been about 4mths quit my last role got this one as it’s a better role I love the job role but….. I feel uncomfortable in the office the girls are secretive and I wouldn’t say friendly , they haven’t said anything but it’s an overwhelming vibe I get everyday and there’s no one I can turn to really as they are so clicky! (Family business) . I’m finding it super hard to go to work everyday my anxiety is so high I constantly feel like I have no say and am unwanted. I do my job extremely well so I’m confident that’s not the issue. What do I do? I’m on the verge of suicide at this stage I’m so overwelmed the anxiety is all consuming. Do I bring it up with my manager? Or look for a new role?
TIA
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5 Replies
Oh wow please speak with the manager and tell them how you feel. Like you said, you do your job really well. Please remember this is nothing to do with you. I think you need an ice breaker with these girls. Invite them for a coffee after work or morning tea etc or just speak with the manager. Nothing is worth your mental health. Dont look for a new role though, that’s just avoidance that goes with anxiety. Tackle this head on & I think it will get sorted out, if you open up how you are feeling. Please seek help from 000 if you feel suicidal. Remember this is temporary, it’s not you that is the issue and this will pass. Hang in there.
I think being a small family business it's going to be really hard to fit in, especially if it's been 4 months already and no attempt by them has been made to make you feel welcome and at ease, or else you wouldn't be feeling like this. I think it's a good idea to find another job. My experience with small family businesses is not good, family will always get first preference with jobs, promotions and will always win a dispute, get away with acting unprofessionally or not pulling their weight and when there's an issue with someone and you need to speak to management then it's usually their Dad or their sister and things get awkward! Try and find somewhere else and PLEASE seek help for your mental health, this is not worth being suicidal over which tells me you may be battling some bigger demons or you've been depressed a long time without knowing.
It's really hard with anxiety.. but ask yourself if it's really important that you all be friends.
Is it enough to go to work, do your job and then get to go home without any of the drama filled typical office politics.
Another thing is, vibes can be read wrong.
I once had my manager walk into my office and my assistant and I were silent. He's gone "oooh, who's in the bad books?". We both just looked at him like WTF? We'd literally just finished talking and laughing and then I had to prioritise getting some work done so he got to leave on time. That weird vibe you're feeling could just be all of you still getting used to the new dynamic. Or they might be a little stand-offish until they get to know you better.
Remind yourself everyday that you won't let your anxiety get the best of you, talk to your GP, give it a little more time before you throw in a job you like. I know I come across as being pretty stand-offish too until people get to know me.
Leave, find another job, you can’t change people like that.
Don’t go to the manager, if employees are comfortable behaving that way, management at best enables the behaviour, at worst models it.
You deserve better lovely lady.
I thought doing a good job and working hard would shield me, but it only made matters worse.
Life is too short, when you can, get the hell out ❤️
My husband used to work for a place that was a family owned and operated. He did enjoy the job but one of the bosses/owners was an a**hole a lot of the times. My husband already had mental health he was dealing with and this just added to it so mentally he went down and anxiety went up etc..
He tried to hang himself. I was the one who found him and cut him down. It was rough. I spoke to his work after that and was honest with what happened. It completely changed and everything did a 180°. Unfortunately it should never come to that for things to have to change. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to your manager or boss, go somewhere else. Life is too short to live in a constant state of anxiety.
Remember, you are worth it. My husband is doing better now, and eventually left that workplace for something closer to home with better pay that he is far less stressed working for. He didn't realise how many of us were around that actually gave a sh*t so know that you're not alone either. People do care.
You deserve happiness and to not feel this way xx