My Parents are stressing me out the closer my due date comes!

Hey,

Private post please.

I was hoping you could put this on a post for me. It's becoming more and more stressful for me the closer to my baby's due date.
Would you please keep my details hidden.

I'm a first time mum and I'm due in December. This bub is the first baby on both my husband and my side. My story is a massive one but basically my parents have been separated since 2003 and have new partners, they are both alcoholics as are their spouses.

My mum is an emotional drunk, she is abusive, selfish and very sick mentally and physically. She doesn't eat much, she drinks like a fish and smokes like a trooper. I can't recall one nice thing she has said to me my whole life. We have never gone out for a coffee, been shopping together and she has never been able to be there for me. I have cut her out of my life May this year, and although I've asked her not to contact me she still sends me text messages a couple times a week which really upsets me, and makes me cry for hours on end. A text message saying she loves me, and she wishes I didn't do this (while she's at home in a drunken stooper) isn't enough for me. She lives 5 mins from my house and I've told her I need her to change and want to be in my life and be sober. I'm pregnant if she really cared she would pop round and be there for me in person.
When I told her I was pregnant, she told me to forget about it, until I'm past 4 months mark in case I lost the baby. As if I wasn't concerned enough myself I had to pretend like I wasn't pregnant for her sake, in case I lost it. I have many questions. How do I block her from texting and calling me? What am I going to do when bub is born, my dad is is telling me I'm selfish if I don't let her see the baby? My mum was interested in her children until we could walk and talk and I don't want that for my children, plus even if she didn't disown them I'm worried about her drinking and emotional abuse.

My dad is a manipulative, confident, racist and gender sexist (he has three daughters) and treats us like we are tough men. (he doesn't know how to treat us like daughters) He has been the most influential and consistent role model in my life. When my parents separated he sort of forgot he had a family and just does whatever he wants living like he never had children. I live 5 mins from his home, and I've been invited over to his place twice this year. My dad doesn't make an effort for his wives adult children, therefore she doesn't make an effort for his children. By effort I mean she won't treat my child like it's her grandchild, he denies her grandchildren (who are like 1 and 2) - I don't want my child to suffer being hurt by there stupid games between themselves. I also feel like such an inconvenience to be around , like I should be thankful they are sparing me a day out the year to see them. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I wanted to come over on the weekends with my hubby for an hour swim, and he's said I can, only when he and his wife and not there. I also asked if I could have my baby shower at his place (coz I wanted him to be involved) he said yeah of course, just make it a time when he's not there and clean up and hide any evidence. Basically our relationship is on his terms and I don't feel this is how parents should be. I think parents are supposed to love you, and want to see you and spend time with you. Everything has to be a secret from his wife because if he tells her, then he has to do the same for her kids type thing. I don't want to have a secret relationship with my own dad and I just am so scared of what this means for my baby when it comes into the world!

I'd really love some advice and also know if other people have had to cut out family members from the hurt and pain. This is supposed to be a joyous time and I'm just so scared....as I want to cut both of my parents out of my life.

I have recently just spoken with my dad about how he makes me feel and he is in denial about everything, and tries to turn things around on me. "Like your always welcome to come over" and I'm like okay so just not when your there right? and he will fumble and try to get around it... but the truth in the actions are there.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts- sorry it's a long one!