How do you deal with your husband putting his job before his wife and kids? I am exhausted and I’m sick of it. I’ve let it slide and slide for 8 years but I’m so unhappy. I feel like he is only trying to build a better future for himself. Mine and his finances are seperate. He’s never helped me or our children financially and everything our kids have is because of me. He doesn’t help at home nor help look after them. We go halves in the mortgage and rates but house is in his name which he likes to make very clear! I pay for literally everything else. And it’s not even about the money I don’t care about the money but I am just so sick of coming last and when I try to talk to him about it I get the whole “you don’t know what hard work is” because I don’t work a hard job like him. I am a cleaner I work hard at my job and I bust my arse so my kids have something. I feel really lucky we have a house. He has FOUR cars. We have food on the table and our bills are paid but it’s still not good enough for him he just wants more and more he wants a mansion and a farrari type of life. I don’t think he will ever be happy with what he has no matter what anyone says to him. Thanks for reading if you got this far I just needed to get that off of my chest.
11 Replies
This is financial abuse and emotional abuse as well. Leave him, you will be better off without him! You will wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Get legal advice on assets but that house is definitely at least half yours, paying the mortgage would have sealed that deal.
What kind of pig needs four cars for himself ? He's definitely only considering his own needs . Grub.
You are in an abusive relationship. It’s time to seek legal advice and move on. He is going to be in for a rude shock when he has to start paying child support and pay you out your share of the house.
You're damn right!
Omfg I had to check to see if I posted this.
Sending you big love...26 years together and you have just described my life.
As I see it you have 2 choices.
1- Leave. And he will find out that the house being in his name means squat when you get half of its value.
2- Give him an ultimatum to either be a part of the relationship or get out. Chances are he won't care and you will end up with only 1 choice. Or he will pretend to change just long enough for you to let your guard down.
What he is doing is abusive and needs to stop now.
I've been through this and it only gets worse. I now suffer from complex ptsd from rubbish like this. It took a huge wake up call for my husband to grow up and finally act like a decent person. BUT it's only taken 1 year for the same abusive behaviours to start creeping back in.
Please don't be like me. Leave before he breaks you mentally and emotionally.
I was in a very emotionally and financially abusive relationship too. It took me a long long time to leave. My only regret is I didn't leave sooner. Please take care of you x
What a pig! 😠 you need to leave him ASAP he doesn’t deserve any of you. You will be way better off without him. Emotionally and financially!
You already know the answer!! You’re doing it anyway, at least you can drop the baggage and live your life!! Just because the house is in his name doesn’t mean anything. Seek legal advice. You’ll be entitled to a percentage of the house, especially because you have been paying the mortgage. He wants to live his life for him, let him! Go do the same for you!
Sounds like you will have a lovely settlement in your divorce and will be more than capable of raising your little family emotionally and financially by yourself! Do what makes you happy. Start saving for a good solicitor so you get everything you’re entitled to. And don’t give up xo
After reading some comments I agree get ya ducks in a row and seek legal advice I know it will be hard but it's not the life for you or your kids I don't know how much support you have out there like with family and friends just coming from a place if you don't have that just think everything you are going though your kids are watching and seeing everything and ask yourself would you want your kids to go though this when there are older and think that is is ok for them to live there life like this cause in a way you are saying this type of life is Acceptable for them to live with and put up with it so if you would not want them to go though it way would you saying this with love I hope for the best for your life hun