Hi ladies
So I have a friend well so call Friend she is a single parent to a almost 12 year old boy (12 next month) and she has been dumping her son off at to anyone and everyone that she can every weekend just so she can go out and party and get plastered to the point where she can’t stand if she isn’t doing that then she is in a hotel with some guy that she just meet while her son is at one of his friends houses or her friends houses crying his eyes out because he wants to be at home with his mother who just dumped him at someone’s house and she will try and leave him there as long as she can she will drop him off at school as early as she can and will dread picking him up currently her mental health isn’t great and hasn’t been for some time it hasn’t been great since last year I’m concerned that she is going to do something to harm herself and her son or even just her son as people have seen that she has no interest in wanting her son around and I have seen her mentally abusing her son I’m worried I really want to call child services but am worried that is she will know who done the call but at the same time they both really need help
5 Replies
My view is this:
If I know or suspect a child is genuinely in need of help or intervation from child services, why should I care if their parents find out I made a report?
I'm an adult, I can look after myself and I can deal with whatever the fallout may be but a vulnerable child cannot do any of those things.
At risk children need someone to advocate for them, not wanting to get involved because of how it might affect you is a little self serving. It's also how kids suffer horribly and sometimes even die.
That may sound dramatic but it's true.
That said.
Making a report wouldn't be my first response to this situation. If this was my friend or loved one, I would have a kind but to the point discussion about how worried I was about them, how their child isn't coping with the disruption and I would make some suggestions about how and where to go for some help. I would try and create a support system for my friend.
It really sounds like your friend needs a mental health plan and to undertake some parenting programs. Also, what's her family situation like? I'd try and get them on board if that was appropriate/possible.
If after all that, she is still unreceptive and making no change, then you may need to make a report.
If you feel the boy is being neglected then make the report. She will probably not be able to pinpoint who made the report since there are so many people that have witnessed what she's like.
What she does when her child isn't there is irrelevant. If the child is as upset as you say about being at someone else's house then a chat to her or her family might help? Is the child's Dad in the picture? I can imagine the boy feels like he's dumped but he could also be picking up on the vibe he's getting from the homes he's staying at if he's not really wanted there. Mum needs to find someone stable and happy to have him on the weekends so he doesn't feel like his existence is annoying everyone. He is 12 after all and they are not hard at all.
I wouldn’t give to shits if she found out.
I’d feel way worse if something happened to that sweet boy because i didn’t stand up for him.
Children need adults to back them. They need support and care.
If you know something, say something.
Take the boy in for as long as possible if you can.
Call the department and get her investigated ASAP
Not sure where you are but your friend needs help, not enabling. We have Act for kids on Gold Coast Australia and others. She’s struggling I think child services will make it worse. And as others say he’s not in danger. I went through same when my dad died at 12.