Where do people draw the line, when sending their kids to school sick?
I always leave my kids home at any sign of any illness . My daughter has a terrible runny nose tonight, sounds like the start of a cold. She doesn’t have covid and I want to keep her home tomorrow. Friends say I am overreacting and why wouldn’t I send her to school, it’s just a runny nose and my daughter is missing out on school blah blah blah.. Do people leave there kids home for this? I always have because I don’t want them passing anything on to other kids and it’s also very uncomfortable for my daughter.
Then on the other hand, my daughter had 2 friends, 2 different kids at school with Covid recently, who ended up crying at school in class because their parents made them go to school with covid due to them working. I was furious. The poor kids felt humiliated and sent home.
Am I overreacting? My friends think I’m crazy for leaving her home again. I think I am in the right here, so I will leave my daughter home, she is my child and it’s my decision but my friends did have my doubting myself for a second, that I was doing wrong by not sending her. There seems to always be someone who installs doubt in ourselves and our parenting.
TIA for those of you who understand.
19 Replies
It’s a weird year, kids are having lots of time off and will really be sent home for sniffing and coughing. If you’re happy to keep her home, do it.
But you say your friends all say this? Then I have to wonder if there’s a reason? And you say leave her home? Is she having lots of days off school? at home alone on her iPad or gaming and missing lots of school for no real reason?
She doesn’t have iPads or any technology. I guess we all have our own ideas on what we think is right. Only a few friends say whom I see and speak with but they send their kids, no matter what, so it may be a bit of their own guilt.
I’m the same. I will keep my teenagers home they are sick. My youngest has a chronic lung condition that can cause a wet cough. If he just has a wet cough I will still send him as it’s not contagious on it’s own, and school understands and allow him to remain at school. Any other symptoms and I keep him home, or if they crop up at school they’ll send him home. Two weeks ago I kept him home for most of the week because he was off. Other than a slight sore throat that went away with regular eating and drinking, there was nothing specifically wrong with him but he wasn’t himself.
I work in childcare. It’s so frustrating when parents send their kids with green snotty noses. Last week we sent kids home every day with temps. The kids weren’t quite themselves from drop off up until their temps went up and we were able to send them home.
I've always (pre and post pandemic) erred on the side of caution and kept my kids home if I suspected they were coming down with something or if I wasn't sure how severe their symptoms were or would get. The majority of the time I was glad I did, a few times I realised by lunch time that they probably could've gone to school but oh well, shit happens!
Being a stay at home mum allowed me to do that which I am grateful for and I can definitely appreciate the struggle of working parents. There is a point though that sending a sick kid to school/daycare is plain negligent and not excusable regardless of circumstances. Sending them whilst they have covid definitely swings in that direction.
My daughter has hayfever constantly and if I left her home every time she had a runny nose she'd never go. I've told her school and it's not contagious so I send her.
My kids go to school unless they're actually unwell and need sleep. Otherwise they'd never go. A cough and sniffle I'd absolutely send unless it was covid
If they're unwell or likely to spread anything they stay home. If they've just got an occasional cough or slightly runny nose but are otherwise ok, they go.
My son has allergies & DD has a common, (not dangerous) respiratory issue where her airways get irritated & she coughs when the weather changes. The school is aware & I always let their teachers know if they have a flare up. I tell them to call me to get them if they suspect it's more. Our school sends them home at the slightest cough anyway (but still gives awards to classes for highest attendance!)
It's a difficult line to find - you want your kids to stay home if ill, but not teach them to drop off work / school at the slightest niggle. I used to work with people like that & it wasn't pleasant.
Off topic a bit but God I hate attendance awards. Attending school is like the bare minimum requirement and not something that is deserving of an award IMO (at least not at a school level) and it also sends a really contradictory message. Stay home when you're sick but keep up your attendance or you won't get rewarded. Honestly, ridiculous 🤣
I wrote the comment. Yes. I mentioned this to my dd's teacher last year after DD was off sick for a week & she agreed, albiet quietly!
It's supposed to encourage families who are less than fantastic with making sure their kids attend school. But, if they cba getting out of bed to get their kids to school I doubt a mention at school assembly & an ice block will do the trick!
As a teenager i was forced to go to school with bronchitis, tonislitis, asthma attacks and severe hayfever (i’m talking my eyes were swollen, nose pourinh with mucus, skin rashes). I refuse to force my child to school when they’re unwell, it disrupts other students, and they can’t focus properly.
If my child has hayfever, or i think it might be hayfever but unsure, i give them some allergy medicine and see how they go, if their symptoms start to clear up, then off to school, if not, i keep them home for a day to make sure it’s not something worse.
There is no right or wrong answer really, but if your child is sick, i think it’s best to err on the side of caution.
I was the same. On the odd occasion I was too ill to go my mother would get angry because I was interrupting her SAHM schedule of gym/shopping/tv.
Hence why I never send my kids if actually ill & never let them feel like their presence ruins my plans. Even if it does!!
I’m sorry that you too were treated the same as i :(
My mother was also a SAHM who made me feel like i was an inconvenience.
We thankfully have the ability to parent in a far kinder, loving way 💜
There's been a couple of times where I thought my kids were probably right to go to school but half way through the day I got that dreaded call from the school office.
Then I felt like a massive arsehole for not realising how bad they were, as a kid I was sent to school even if I was practically dying so I know how awful it is sitting through class feeling unwell.
I used to work in childcare and people would regularly send their kids in knowing full well they were too sick to be there. That used to annoy me far more than the parents who'd keep their kids home when they may not have needed to.
I think parents are getting tired of questioning every sniffle. Its getting into winter so kids just seem to be runny nosed from cold air etc...
Do what you're comfortable with but I understand your friends feeling over the slightest bit of snot or sneeze warranting another day home from school.
You're mum here.
Sending sick kids to school is neglectful. Sending very sick kids who start crying because they are feeling so poorly just because they had to eork is cruel.
Do what's in your childrens best interests. The school would prefer a classroom full of healthy kids ready to learn than sick miserable ones.
Do not send children to school when they are sick. If children have sniffles or cough due to hayfever or asthma, let the teacher know so they can monitor your child. It's just not other children but teachers well. Your kids will miss out on much more quality learning if the teacher is away. Think also of those with immune compromised relatives. Sending a child to school when obviously sick with a cold or flu is selfish.
You are doing the right thing stuff what others are saying they are doing the wrong thing it clearly states if you have any symptoms of covid regardless of the test result to stay home until you are well
This is how this is passed on not just covid but other Illnesses too
Cold and flu symptoms can linger for weeks. I know of at least 7 children in our school who have missed 5 weeks and counting because they have lingering symptoms of colds/flu and Covid. Where does one draw the line? For myself, i keep my children home until they are well enough within themselves and have no need for meds but schools need to be understanding also. I've had a runny nose on and off since the colder weather set in. I imagine there's plenty of children like this too.
this is so dependent on situations, a single mum who can't pay rent if she doesn't work, then if the kid just has a runny nose then send them. If the kid isn't doing well at school and needs the structure, not serious, they can go. If you can afford the time and are concerned for them kids let them stay home. Why is this about who is the better mum, sounds like you are over cautious, and some less so, but neither is wrong. I don't agree with sending sick kids to school but with this weather and the level of time off most kids have had you need to make a call in what is best for the kid and situation. Only neglect if the kids needs are not being met and that is both ways. You do you and don't buy into drama. If you don't share what you are doing it's no one's business 😉