Am I asking too much?

Am I asking too much?

Long story short. I think my rose tinted glasses have been removed.

2018 - Hubby had a back injury. I'm not taking away anyone's pain, I'm very sympathetic, but he lied to his psychologist (work cover), he's a one time wonder, physio once, osteo once etc, never followed protocol. He told his psych max 1hr gaming a day, when he slouched on the couch 8+ hours a day - how does someone with a back injury actually do that?

from there - he's lifting 100kg at the gym, his work needs updated physical tests, he refuses, saying he has a back injury (HE LIFTS AND PRESSES 100kg+ at the gym!) - so he loses his job.

that was 2019 onwards.

He tells the world he broke his back, when he didn't even reach herniation on a disc if we want to be exact, it was one with a minor bulge.

Not once, has he looked at jobs, or started to apply, I've applied for all for them. He turns down the safe ones, and ends up not putting in the effort for the commission ones.

I'm getting resentful, watching him on the couch all day playing Xbox, whilst I bust my ass looking after our 8yo, working, applying for his jobs. Ok he's not the complete slob, but god I hate it when he sees me making a tea and goes "NO I DON'T WANT ONE THANK YOU" reminding me how rude I've been to not ask him if he'd like a tea.

When I do everything else.... And even ask him to do things, he can't just do it himself.

He had a REALLLLLYYYYY GOOOOD job interview booked today, he called saying he's got a cough, a cough that's lasted four weeks, of which he hasn't taken any Vit C, and it really doesn't sound chesty, just a throat clear cough. Today, of all days, the interview day.

AND - yes, I've tried to talk to him, because he's the one who has something to say about the overweight person walking down the street, the bloody woman or Asian driver who can't follow road rules or park properly, he has an opinion about everything. The deliveroo driver using roads and paths. The parent who let their kid get fat. etc.

Our child's friend was over one day, who has a known weeing issue, and she weed her pants sitting on our daughter's bed, to which he yells "that CHILD!" - I told him he needs to stop responding with anger, to which he says "I'm done with you saying I'm an angry person, I'm going to leave, Im sick of this shit" acting like I treat him badly, then I respond "If you're not happy, go" - to which he says "No, you leave" - ummm.......... I pay the rent, signed the lease, manage the houses.

When I ask him how do I approach a tough topic with someone diplomatically, he says say it, facts don't care about your feelings.

Soooooo...... when he was whinging about the shopkeeper yesterday not being ready upon store open time, I said, is that like you spending all day on the couch, when you could be applying or working?

He yells "Don't make this about me"

To which I say "I'm not, you just seem to have an opinion about everyone else who isn't your business, which you think your entitled to, but god forbid I speak politely about your habits".

It goes nowhere.

The other day he says I'm a woman who wants a high income, telling me I'm like my sister, when all I want is him off his ass, I care for myself and our daughter, he says he doesn't want that high job, but then talks about putting our daughter in private school etc. Oh, not to mention he eats out 7 days a week, on my income.

I'm done. So done. I understand depression and mental health is a thing, but I'm also certain change comes with action.

As my dad says to me, he's gotten comfortable with you doing all the work.

Thoughts?

P.S. I'm the woman who works 10hrs a day, plus applies for his jobs.