Hi I need some advice I guess.
I am over having things thrown back in my face. I stay at home and look after our nearly 12 month old. My partner says he doesn't want me to return to work and says I'm doing a great job next thing I know I'm having a bad day with bub and didn't take the bin out and he's lost his shit carrying on that he has to do everything and he's sick of. He never has do to anything but go to work mind u. And he's over me being an alcoholic ( I have 2 drinks while cooking dinner) and sick of paying for everything and all of a sidden I can't handle my son. All this because I didn't take the bin out. Im now over it and want my own money to b able to buy my own car and have my own savings if anything should happen.What I want to know is what do other mums do to make their own money while at home with bub? I thought about putting bub in daycare so I can work but I dont want to if all my wage will go on daycare fees.
12 Replies
What did you guys discuss about money when you were expecting? Like were you both on the same page? Looking after a child is a job in itself. When I was on mat leave, my husband came home from work, had a coffee...and then helped to clean, set table, get stuff done around the house. He'd take the bub so I could grab a shower, go to the shops etc. Depending on what the day was like, some days I'd have dinner done and some days I didn't lol
Not sure I can really advise you... I wanted to progress my career and for us to have extra financial security so I went back to work part time around 8months. My childcare rebate is around 50% so for us it's really worthwhile for me to work plus it's helps grow my super.
I think you should use the calculator on Centrelink to see how much the fees would be. You do need your own money you will go insane in that environment with him contradicting everything all the time. Any job is how mums make money, unfortunately I don't think work from home jobs really pay enough unless you're working for a legit business that pays hourly. But with all the mandates and covid related time off all those jobs have gone. There are shortages in hospitality, fast food, retail, cleaning. Hospitality pays well but not really flexible. I have worked fast food before and they were flexible, it was great for me as I worked school hours and had holidays off. My son works in fast food so he can work around his sport. The pay is a bit crap but sometimes the flexibility is worth it.
Stay away from MLMs!!
I've always been fiercely independent so I work FT. Before our son finished primary school I'd made it to managers assistant and before he finished high school I was senior management.
I've never paid a cent more for child care than I expected my partner to contribute. He's OUR child so we both paid those costs.
Have you ever had a job?
Do you have any experience?
Do you drink every day?
I’ve always worked, went back part time when my son was 7 months.
My husband and I are on a fairly good income. I only pay about $26 for a day of daycare due to the child care rebate. Even If you worked about 2 days a week doing like 6 or 7 hours in a low income job, you could make like $150 a day and only a bit of that would go to daycare. Cleaning, supermarket worker, aged care hospitality services, pubs, cafes are all screaming out for workers. Do your cert 3 in individual support and become a carer. You'll feel a sense of independence with your own income too.
Not everyone wants to be a carer. The pay is crap, it’s casual and they are overworked.
It was just an option. She could do anything.
Maybe you just had shit employers. I’ve always worked as a carer, I’m permanent and work the same shifts every week, and my pay is great.
When my son was about your kids age I started working 1 day a week on one of my hubbys days off, it was soooo good! Hubby got to have a little taste of stay at home mum life, I got a bit of extra pocket money and adult time!
I love to have a contingency plan though, I would hate to end up a single parent with no earning prospects, so I started studying from home, im not going to lie, its been really hard, but by the end of this year I will have a degree and my son will just about be at school.
In terms of your partners reaction to the bins....if its the first reaction to something like that, my advise is stamp that shit out as quickly as possible! Being a stay at home parent is not being someone's maid! My hubby said to me once, your one job is looking after our child, anything more is a bonus, and he's so right!!
Just remember your partner doesn't get to dictate your life, if you want to work, then work! It is your life and if he's not supportive of that, then he's not a decent person.
All the best! Lots to navigate when a child comes along! Its nothing new, but boundries and constructive communication is key!
I stayed at home and studied with my children until they were school age and I still have no regrets whatsoever! I did have to put up with his attitude at times because they think mothers have it easy 😒 and geez did I go without but it was so worth it! Then I went back to work full time and started getting lunch breaks haha. However my relationship with my children suffered because work took over my home life as well. Sometimes chasing a career is not worth it. I went back to part time and that is much better but I still find I do the majority of housework at home. I am considering launching my own career again but will have definite boundaries around it. My children will fly the nest one day and then my career can be more important. Until then, stuff anyone who judges a mum for doing either. Neither is easy and we are all doing the best we can.
If my husband told me that. I’d tell him to get stuffed and I’d walk out. It’s hard work being mum and taking care of the house and kids. He is a selfish and disrespectful twat! He should be grateful that you are home with your son everyday and he doesn’t have to be dumped with someone else. Don’t listen to him. Keep being you and being there for your son. He needs you. Don’t miss these precious days. Stand up to the disrespectful twat, tell him you’ll leave it he doesn’t like it. I can’t imagine leaving my baby and going to work.