Im a single mum with 2 young kids, different genders and large age gap. One will be a teenager in a few years and the other one has just started school.
I separated last year and moved into a 2 bedroom rental. It is not ideal but the rent was low and given the rental crisis I applied to as many places and took the first that accepted me. My landlord is wonderful and I am very happy here.
My kids share a room. The room is decorated gender neutral and each bed and a shelf has what each kid likes (one is into Harry Potter and unicorns - the other one is into dinosaurs and bluey).
At their dads they have their own room and space. They get to hang pictures on the wall. They get to have a dog. I wish I could give them the same but I can't. The ex kept the family home, he has a higher wage and I couldn't afford it.
I ended up with a financial settlement which wasn't much but it is helpful for a deposit for a house.
I want to purchase a home but unfortunately I don't think I can buy a 3 bedroom. It'll have to be a 2 bedroom.
Here is the problem, the kids have a large age gap and different genders.. so I should be buying a 3 bedroom but after looking and looking there is no way I will afford it.
Do I just stay renting? I could afford a 3 bedroom rental but then there is so much lack of stability, I am scared my landlord will sell or any future landlord will sell. So I really want stability even if it means a 2 bedroom. I also need to add I do not have support where I live, I moved here for my ex and now my kids are established here and I would never uproot them. So I can't just stay at my parents or with my siblings. It is not an option.
I just don't know what to do the jump between 2 - 3 bedroom when buying a home is huge.
Im a medium-low income earner. I work full time, I work more than 40 hours - and currently looking at working on my only day off just to have more money to hopefully one day purchase a home.
Is it a stupid idea to consider a 2 bedroom just to get into the house market? will my children resent me if I can't provide each one with their own room? does not having a room each make me a bad mother? will the soon-to-be-teenager hate me?
I considered giving both kids a room and I don't have one, but I have a bad lower back so I can't really sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge room. I need a proper mattress. Otherwise, I really don't need a room.
I think the tween might be embarrassed if their own mum doesn't have a room when they invite friends over? maybe I am overthinking...
I am very conflicted and would appreciate any advice.
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8 Replies
You may get lucky and get a 3 bedroom, even a 2 bedroom with attached garage because there really isn't much you need to do to turn it into a bedroom, literally just put furniture in it. So keep an eye out on the market don't be in a rush, go to the broker if you haven't already and find out what you can borrow. Then see the real estate agents in your area tell them you're keen on a cheap 3 bedroom or 2 bed with garage/study.
At the end of the day any roof is better than none, there are families out there with 3 or 4 kids who would probably love to own even just a one bedroom flat if it gets them off their friends lounge room floor or out of a tent. But if you are in no real rush to find a place I think you're better off waiting for something to really suit your family to come onto the market, you don't want to buy a house that will only cause issues down the track.
But a 2 bedroom. You can make it work when it’s your own. We have a 2 bedroom with 3 kids. We have enough room in our lounge area for a bed for my son, to seperate them. You will make money on your home in the long run and eventually buy a 3 bedroom but for now, do what works. Even if you have to set up a bed for your daughter in your room when the time comes. You make it work. I would def buy if I was you, you have nothing to lose.you can always find a cheap granny flat later on to add it a caravan as your son gets older. There is ways around it. Granny flat is a great idea though, even for yourself then the kids have a room or your son has granny flat.
Also a single garage you can convert it into a room, easily done and cheap. Buy 2 bedroom with a single garage.
My teenage son and I lived in a 1 bedroom unit for 5 years. I had a very nice sofa bed in the loungeroom and he had the bedroom.
You’ve got options if you have to buy a 2 bedroom unit, if you think creatively.
If I needed to change clothes etc I changed in the bathroom. There are options if you want to buy.
I shared with my little brother from age 10 to 15. I won't lie, I hated it but I did understand why it was necessary.
If you own tho, you can get creative. I know some people who use day beds instead of a couch as they have actual mattresses and you can dress them up really cute with big euro pillows and throws.
In our old 2 bedroom place, we had a massive living area, we managed to section it off into a bedroom and a lounge room with a few of those room dividers so our two toddlers could have a room each and stop waking each other.
You could share the bigger room with the younger sibling - one of those bunks that have a double at the bottom for you, top bunk for little one.
You can convert garages or study nooks to a sleeping area/room.
Down the track you could get a caravan or one of those kitted out shipping containers turned into a room (I looked into that recently and they're surprisingly affordable and really cool).
Your situation may change 3 or 4 years down the track and you may be able to afford to upsize!
Do whatever you have to do to get out of the rental market I say!
I would purchase only what y can afford. I know we live in a culture that says every kids needs their own room, but that's not true. It's better for you to be financially stable going forward. I wish you luck.
Maybe you could hold off buying for now and just keep adding to you deposit and wait for right home to become available. I'm not sure where you live but I'm pretty sure different genders aren't suppose to share a room past a certain age from a DHS point of view. Maybe you could look into buying a fixer upper home and do some diy renovations or something out of town a little bit? Once your other child reaches puberty and what not they are really going to need there own space. Have you had a talk with a mortgage broker? A 3 bedroom might be more in your options then you are thinking. Do you receive any single parent benefits? The government was bringing in a lower deposit for single parents (2% from memory). Have a look at all options before you take the leap.
We used to live in a two bedroom house with 2 kids (both girls and close in age) and it was very very hard. They needed space from each other.
I would consider talking to a mortgage broker and reconsider your options. Perhaps and older home for the extra room. I think they will need their own rooms moving into teenage life.
*edited to say that there are some terrific options suggested above. Good luck Mumma