Hi Mummas,
I have a DD13. She has had a period for year, has a bra, and shaves but has zero interest in boyfriends (or girlfriends if that’s what ends up being her thing). She has that book Kaz Cooke girl stuff teenager. I am wondering if/when I should talk to her about masturbation and orgasm. I was not ‘taught’ anything about this and my intimate life suffered badly for many years because of a lack of knowledge about my body. I’d hate to pass that on!
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5 Replies
Shes likly already doing it and had one. Back in our day there wasn't so much info out there for us, but kids today have access to so much more
Remember Dolly magazines? That was my bible. It covered everything. I think there may be a gap for that age where everything they do is monitored, they aren't about to google about orgasms or masturbation and even if they did imagine the crap that would show up. Dolly magazines should make a comeback. I don't know about you but I would have been mortified if my Mum started talking about orgasms and masturbation. It really would depend on her personality, even if you're open it doesn't mean she feels comfortable talking about it.
I think most kids discover masturbation and sexuality without too much instruction.
That book is going to be a good resource for her in that regard, I think your job is just to empower her and make sure she knows there's nothing shameful about exploring her body and maybe making sure she has a good understanding about female anatomy.
I can't tell you how many grown women i know who don't even know the correct terminology or even the function of their reproductive and sexual organs.
I can remember the sex education we got in 6th grade, the teacher told boys they could masturbate to relieve their erection, went as far as saying it was healthy and they should do it regularly (which is true of course), one of the girls asked if they should do it as well and the teacher replied "well, girls don't really need to". I think that's why a lot of women from our generation have struggled with our sex lives, because when we were growing up we were taught, perhaps inadvertently, that women were baby making incubators and vessels for male pleasure. Our pleasure and sexuality wasn't something that was spoken of and women who did were shamed or ridiculed. Even consent wasn't talked about back then which is mind blowing! How is that such a modern concept!!
Thankfully we have come a long way since then. Your daughter will be fine.
Not something that really needs discussion I don't think.
Kids talk amongst themselves and there are so many ways to access information that wasnt available when us "oldies" were growing up.
Maybe just make sure she knows that you are here any time she has questions or wants to talk.