My husband is a conspiracy theorist and anti vaxxer.
He thinks everyone and everything is corrupt, he is moody, angry at the world. Doesn’t trust anyone.
His mood affects our house and our two boys
He swears under his breath constantly. His “beliefs” control what we do all the time.
We can’t travel or plan to travel because of his beliefs.
He wasn’t like this when we were married 6 years ago, he has slowly gotten worse.
There is no reasoning with him, or giving him facts, it’s like he is in a cult and consumed by it all.
What do you do when you realise how different your opinions are now. I don’t want our boys thinking the world is so awful, and it’s making me depressed and negative myself. I don’t know what to do.
Conspiracy theories and anti vax
Conspiracy theories and anti vax
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
40 Replies
I think at some point you have to be able to live your life and he’s stopping that then you have to make decisions to separate.
It’s so difficult. We have watched a relative go down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole too. He’s decided to stop paying the mortgage because ‘the new world order’ is taking over and changing the entire financial system. His kids and wife will be homeless very soon unless he wakes up to himself.
Very very hard to watch, and not much can be done.
Sounds like mental health help is needed asap. I’m so sorry you’re all going through this!
Unfortunately there is nothing we can do. He’s holding down a job, and paying his other bills. He presents as a typical tradie except for certain convos and stopping paying the mortgage, that are all tied into anti-vax and of course white hats versus pedophiles.
Sadly I think we have to let it play out, hope his wife breaks free (at the moment she is enabling him).
One word DRUGS!!
I know a few people like this. One is so convinced vaccines cause all of these horrific side effects but 95% of people are vaccinated so where are these side effects? I haven't heard many! I've heard of a few, sure. But no where near the amount that anti vaxxers claim. I just ignore it. I let them have their rant and then change the subject. It would be hard if you were dating someone like that though.
Where are the side effects? How about you Google the TGA adverse reactions website and have a look at not only the reactions but the deaths even in children. Just because you or people you know haven’t suffered (yet) from this jab doesn’t mean tens of millions haven’t. Time you switched off msm and paid attention to what is going on. Oh and 95% of the population aren’t jabbed sucker!!!
I'm going by what I know to be true not reading some random crap on the internet that anyone can make up. Most people I know are vaccinated even those who didn't want it but had to for their job and they're all fine. I work in a huge office building and see hundreds of people a day and we all are vaccinated as we had to be to keep our job, surely at least a few of them would have some sort of side effect but nope you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference from before they were vaccinated to now.
I’m glad to hear you’ve been fortunate enough to not know anyone with side effects. But please be aware even though it’s not being report all over the tv it’s definitely happening!
My friends neighbour died of a heart attack 3 days after her 2nd jab - going for a walk. Another friends mum was diagnosed with an incurable blood cancer that came out of nowhere few weeks after her jab. Another friends dad has a brain tumour that’s not grown in 20 years, randomly start growing..
truth be told, we don’t know the long term effects this vax is having on people, and we won’t know for a few more years either, it’s new technology. Plus if your interested pziser has been made to release it medical findings by a court order, 8 pages of adverse reactions, if you feel like some light reading..
all the best xx
I'm not saying no side effects are happening. But definitely not to the rate being claimed by anti vaxxers. My pop died from a heart attack in 2006 and I knew several others who have had heart attacks and died long before covid was around but any time someone has a heart attack and dies its due to the vaccine apparently 🙄 like no, heart attacks have been around forever but people will find any reason to blame vaccines.
Oh yes I definitely get that! Trust me even as an ‘antivaxxer’ we roll our eyes at the comment section after a celeb dies or has an illness. Not everything related back to the jab. But my friends neighbour was only 32, young, fit, no prior health problems and couple of weeks after her second.. can’t help but feel a little suspicious don’t ya reckon
My partner is also a conspiracy nut sometimes, and fkn covid - OMG.
At first I just ignored it. His beliefs in that regard did not effect me at all so he can believe what he wants. If I wanted to go somewhere I went, if he couldn't that was his choice. I'd try to zone out when he started.
The point where I lost my shit was one afternoon he was with friends talking about "all the sheople" getting their jabs.
I pointed out I was vaxxed (which he knew), was I then a sheople?
He replied no (smart man sometimes).
I then asked if he thought I stupidly jumped in and "did as I was told" without my own research into the vaccines and the companies making them, choosing the vaccination I wanted and discussing it with my GP before going ahead?
That if I'd done it there was a very good chance the rest of "all the sheople" had also done so?
That I wasn't getting the booster available because another one was in the works that I thought was a better fit and would just be ultra careful with sanitising and social distancing until it was ready.
By this time he was a bit taken aback, my voice had risen a bit, he knew I was serious.
I likened his constant bombardment with a kind of narcissistic, cultish mentality.
That I felt I couldn't even watch the news in case they had a story on that would start him up again.
That he doesn't need to ram his beliefs on it down my throat, I'm a free thinking grown up
who didn't appreciate being made to feel like an idiot every time he opened his trap.
Then I told him if I heard one more fucking utterance out of his gob about the topic he could fuck off.
Is no longer a topic when I'm home. If anyone else brings it up he shuts it down.
I’m a ‘conspiracy nut’ and on a few Facebook pages with it all, I hattteeeee when people name call, gah the shepeople comments, it’s just so rude and uncalled for! I’d have to say the worst thing to come out of Covid is the divide in people and the hate, it breaks my heart that everyone can’t be kind and accepting of peoples personal choices :(
Glad to hear your partner respects your decision to not bring it up anymore, sometimes you just need those firm boundaries if you believe different things 👍
Haha, it's actually his terminology so I used it too, he's always saying "so I know you think I'm a conspiracy nut but...".
We've disagreed on a few things over the years and could talk through it. This whole covid thing though has been a much bigger beast.
I would leave. I would hate for my kids to hear this crap, especially from their father who is their to guide them and show them the way in life.
I suppose you have to look at it the same as you would with anything that hurts a family.
The reason people get into relationships is because they have things in common and usually share the same common belief system. If that has changed i guess you need to reasses your relationship.
Ask yourself this, if you met him now, would you want to be in a relationship with him?
If he's unwilling to see his behaviour is causing conflict and damage to your family, then you need to explore your options.
If you think the government isn’t corrupt, and they are all angels and do no wrong then you’ve got serious problems. It’s messed up, corrupt even down to churches, schools, police and so much more! There is agenda here. Keep getting your 300th booster for the year! Come on! How about you actually stop being scared and actually look at the whole picture instead of showing your arse to the government, you’re not a monkey!
I think there is corruption in alot of areas of life, but it’s what you choose to focus on, do you want to look at the whole world as being evil and corrupt or do you want to sometimes look for the joy in life and the good in the world. You can see “the whole picture” and let it control you or be aware
If you don’t think people know there are corrupt elements in life, then you have a problem.
We know there is corruption. When you see corruption everywhere and think you are in on a big secret the rest of us ‘can’t see’ you’ve moved in to dangerous territory.
There is corruption in all parts of life but thinking like that is dangerous. You'll never have a decent life if you're so scared of the government and distrusting everything and everyone and acting like everything is a conspiracy theory and out to get you. You're the one who is scared, not us.
I’m not scared of the government, put it this way, I won’t be locking down, never did and never will! I choose to live my life, no fear mongering will ever stop me from doing just that. Those who locked down, did so out of fear!
I’m not scared of the government, put it this way, I won’t be locking down, never did and never will! I choose to live my life, no fear mongering will ever stop me from doing just that. Those who locked down, did so out of fear!
"I choose not to wear seat belts. It's MY body MY choice. I refuse to be uncomfortable because of the governments rules"
"I choose not to follow the speed limits. Fuck who I endanger, it's MY choice!"
"I choose not to follow health and safety rules at work. I'm not doing all that extra cleaning. I'm not letting the government tell me how to run my business. I don't care who gets sick from my lack of concern because IT'S MY LIFE"
"I choose not to follow lock down rules. I don't give a shit about the elderly and immune compromised. It's my life, my choice, I'm not going to let the government control me!"
That's how you sound.
🙄
yes
Me and my husband are ‘conspiracy theorists and anti vax’ according to all the labels 😂 but we have done our due diligence and read what information is shared through the government agencies, tga website, who organisation etc and came to our own conclusions. We are pro choice and anti mandate, let everyone choose their own health path.
Unfortunately as soon as you start reading some info and it sinks in it’s really easy to see that Australia is no longer run for the benefit of its citizens but for big business. A lot of things happen just to line the pocket of others.. it’s makes us feel not only angry but also helpless, especially for our childrens futures.
We’ve found, going down that rabbit hole can really effect your mental health and outlook too. Not only is it constantly depressing stuff but it’s also frustrating that people are walking around us ‘asleep’ and refuse to see the information that is right in front of them.
We’ve found switching off from the news, radio and even social media, ‘muting’ the conspiracy pages on Facebook or group chats has done wonders.
Our heads aren’t in the sand and we see things so clearly, the manipulation from the tv and governments but we’ve decided to not let it control us with fear and stress anymore. We’ve found happiness in our own lane and see the positives that are in our lives.
I would just have a chat with your husband and let him know how your feeling, tell him that you support his views but he can’t let it consume him.
My dad is a conspiracy theorist too and my mum liked to put her head in the sand, she believed him but felt the knowledge did nothing good for them. They’ve now separated, my dad got all too consumed and it was like a dark cloud over their heads!
I think acknowledging what he is going through but focusing what you have control over is better, like would putting in a veggie garden help? Maybe start collecting food and supplies? Do some off grid camping with the boys? Be a little more self sufficient could be a positive goal you as a family could work towards?
Honestly having read a Teeny tiny bit of conspiracy’s, it gave me a world of anxiety and sadness, tell him to get out now while he can and just to live his life!
don’t worry about the travel thing, it won’t last forever but until then get out on the open road and see what’s within your local state!
They’ve all done their “due” diligence, you’re no different, that’s the actual problem.
People can’t discern from the research what is fact and what is fiction.
You aren’t awake.....urghhhh
Just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t mean you know what I have and haven’t read. As I said, we are pro choice, everyone should have the right to choose what they do regarding their own personal medical status. I don’t take my health advice from a politician..
Our personal circumstances are that we would easily survive Covid and I’m not going to risk the health of my family on a trial vax. If you feel differently then do what’s best for YOUR family xx
You do know the vax is free to citizens, the government is forking out for it?
You do known that scientists make the vaccine, not politicians?
But you’ll risk the people you encounter in the world who are immune compromised:
The boy at your kids school that you are unaware has cystic fibrosis
The mum having chemotherapy doing her shopping at the supermarket
The waitress who served you who is going to visit her grandma after work at the nursing home
The little girl in your kids kinder class who was born premie and has weak lungs and is hospitalized every winter with croup.
You my friend are what is wrong with the world.
You are a part of the me generation.
Selfish with a capital S.
I know how annoying and frustrating it is to have a partner with such strong beliefs.. my partner is the same and when he goes on and on it annoys the hell out of me. But at the same time they do have a point! I’m unvaccinated as I believe there is more to this vaccine then just that “it will help lessen the effects of covid) my family and I all got covid and all unvaxed and we were fine.. my other family members who are double vaxed got covid and were more sick then any of us.. so the vax didn’t do any favours for them at all. Also a lot of these “conspiracies” are coming true too. Only time will tell!
Funny how ALL the unvaxed were fine and ALL the vaxed werent, you talk in such absolutes! Your unsubstantiated ridiculous story is so compelling, I think I’ll ignore everything I’ve ever read and heard from the scientists/experts and change my point of view. Thanks for your very informative, scientific, truthful account, what a game changer.
What so called expert are you talking about they were all gagged by AHPRA and I should know. I was one of them.
I agree my un family all fine, my poor siblings family really sick. One recently boosted was hospital at home :( I worry for them.
Honestly I'd sit down and have a frank discussion with him.
I don't believe relationships can work with such varying belief systems.
Perhaps he needs to seek help from a psychologist or someone of the sort.
If I were in your situation, I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who was holding my life at a ransom (of sorts). You can't travel because he has a set of beliefs.
You also don't want your kids to believe that these views are normal
My brother is the same. Hes so consumed by it hes actually awful to be around.
His facebook post are so depressing!!!!
Anyway, if I was you I'd leave. Give myself and the kids a break from the negativity. Its up to your husband to figure out how he wants to live his life..but you guys deserve to have a life full of joy.
Do you know if you get a jab it will literally elevate your status in society?! It is a license to work, you won’t lose family or friends people won’t tell you they hope you catch covid and die you can travel outside of your country. No one would call you a murderer a conspiracy theorist or say you have mental health issues. If you get an adverse reaction no one will believe you so you just shut your mouth because your social status is more important then your health. You will be able to use medical care more freely then an anti vaxxer so your health is instantly more important then those filthy anti Vax freaks your children won’t be locked out of school camps and events their education is held as more valuable then their anti Vax peers. Your life is more for filled valued and important if your Vaxxed and your opinion is superior. Tell your husband it’s just a experimental jab and that he could have such a beautiful life if he just did one simple thing and got jabbed. Segregation and discrimination is totally cool if you’re jabbed too so what are you waiting for? hold him down and drag him to your nearest Vax clinic you’re just 2/3/4/5 (the amount doesn’t matter) jabs away from being a more superior valued human on this planet.
Beautifully explained
Sorry but I'm with him on this one. Lost my job because I didn't trust it. Was isolated and discriminated against. Look at the dollar value of lawsuits against the main pharma. I am not an anti-vaxxer and this comment suggests to me that you are not listening to him at all and only mainstream media. My family have had every other injection which has been evidence based. I feel sorry for your husband as it's lonely. Maybe sit and let him actually talk about his beliefs without judgement and ask him where he got them from. If you open your mind you will find there's alot of evidence to support these so called conspiracies. Oh and BTW Science degree here. Science should always be questioned!!!
To me as a mental health professional it sounds like he experiencing paranoia and possible delusions I think he has some mental health issues going on if he is allowing this to consume his life it’s possible he doesn’t even realise wich would be why there is no reasoning with him as what he is experiencing is very real to him.
I would definitely start with some professional help although probably won’t be easy as he doesn’t see anything wrong with how he feels/acts. Good luck!
****update from OP****
Thanks for the helpful replies.
I wasn’t actually after a vaccine debate or any other debate for that matter.
That’s my life, all day everyday
I do listen to his “side” and I also expect the same in return
I don’t label him an anti vaxxer or conspiracy theorist he calls himself that.
I was asking for help in how I stop our home being an angry and negative one,
I don’t want our life consumed by what ifs or what could happen and it never used to be.