Getting my husband to listen
Ok, so my husband really has trouble paying attention or listening, which in turn makes me feel like he’s not paying attention to me.. like his brain is somewhere else…
Yes I’ve talked to him constantly about this & he even thought about seeing someone but who would he see? A counsellor ?? Or do something different like meditation?
.
This isn’t really my entire problem though, it’s his reaction when I get angry about it, “calm down” stress less” I find this is him dismissing my feelings & telling me how I should react..
For eg.
We went to lunch & I was discussing with him about our soon receiving naked photos off a random & he completely missed the punch line.. his first response to me was to say “was she naked” Um yes, where the hell have you been this past 5 minutes?!
This made me angry because it’s ALL the time & is so frustrating..
Help me with some ideas ??
5 Replies
Meditation won’t help.
Has he always been this way? Is he like this with other people? Does he miss important details in movies? How does he function at work?
Heya
I guess I’ve noticed more since our children have got older & our conversations are more serious!
No, he is probably more focused on movies then in conversations…
He is a shift worker so I guess he is forever catching up on sleep 😴
I struggle with the same issue as your husband 😬 the people around me are pretty understanding tho and are usually happy to explain things further to me. I understand its super frustrating but maybe just try and reexplain
Ok my husband is the same, (probably adhd) and we realised that while I like sitting down and talking face to face, this makes my husband really uncomfortable and fidgety so when there's important things to discuss he needs to keep his hands or body busy. Our solution is to do something active while having the discussion, for example we will go for a walk around the block. This way he doesn't need to have direct eye contact and his body is busy, however we are alone and can talk freely. It seems to stop him getting distracted or frustrated. Maybe worth a try?
My partner has ADD and does things like this, sounds like yours possibly could too. He can see his GP who will refer him to a psych for formal assessment & treatment options.
Meds CAN be a life changer (though not for everyone) and there's specialised therapy he can do too.
It can get pricey, but is absolutely worth it.