I can not handle any more interaction with the father of my kids. He is selfish and inflexible and I am really just at my wits end. If anything needs to be discussed it is texts ALL DAY until he gets his way. I am just worn out. The kids are 17,12 and 10, so I have years more of this ahead. He has them 2 nights out of 14 - I am exhausted. I instigated mediation in a hope that custody etc would be sorted and I wouldn’t have to interact with him, but he lied all the way through and is very charming and manipulative, but if he wants to change weekends then he feels that I just have to agree even if I have plans, and when I don’t agree it is texts all day saying why I should. It is important he spends time with his kids, and I need time for myself - more than 2 nights. I just don’t see any hope for getting through the next 8 years.
9 Replies
Can you afford to go to court?
You don’t have to put up with this for years. Change your number.. email only. If you’re not going to court, Id advise you to assume you’re parenting 100%, if he takes them great have your break, if he doesn’t great they stay home, zero interactions with him.
Stop communication with him and let him take it to court. Your older 2 are old enough to make their own decisions. Just cut him off. Stop responding to his crap!
Then you don’t reply to him. How do you allow it to
Go on all day? Don’t respond. He knows the times and days that’s it. Stick to it. Do not talk to him or text.
If you're pushing him to have the second weekend, stop. I know it's not fair but it will be your kids that are resented and they are old enough to know what's going on even if you don't say anything. But if he is as manipulative as you say he will be letting the kids know that you didn't want them that weekend because you wanted to party/date/whatever and he needed to do something important like work so he could afford child support. That's exactly how my ex would put it anyway. You're better off not pushing at this age, get your kids to handle all communication with Dad themselves then they can learn that Dad is full of excuses. It's not worth the fight when all you want is a kid free weekend, that's not what shared parenting is about anyway. Let your kids see who always put them first and who always come up with excuses.
How hard is it to just block him ! Don't respond!
My son talks and makes plans with his dad, your kids are old enough.
Just disengage, say I’ll put Benny on the phone.
Also makes him explain to the kids why he can’t have them 🤪
He sounds like a dick, sorry you have to go through that.
You sound like you are manipulated by him and are so used to answering him and doing as your told. It’s ok to cut contact with him and not reply. Block him off like he doesn’t exist. You can also have someone else message him or write in a communication book only regarding the kids nothing else and have someone else deal with him. Do not enter into his games. You have to cut contact with him and not feel bad for doing so.
My Husband stopped communicating with his Ex regarding visits when his son was 14. Schooling and medical issues were discussed as needed.
His son had a phone, Hubby would call or text him and they would make the arrangements. If ex had other plans on with son then she would message and change visitation but otherwise it was all through their son. Their agreement was pretty set though, every second weekend and half holidays. No need for all day messaging