Hi IMs, I’m really after some advice I think. My 19 year old daughter has just gotten her first job, after 3 years of trying really hard to get a job. She started 3weeks ago. Since then she has changed. She’s very down all the time and just plain miserable! She doesn’t know why. She has burst into tears multiple times and still says she doesn’t know why!! She says she loves her job but her moods say otherwise. Could this be anxiety and or depression? I hav no idea what to do or what to tell her? I don’t know what has happened
4 Replies
Just a thought but when I started a new job I used to feel completely overwhelmed for the first few months until I got the hang of it. I would just be reminding her it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed, usually with the amount you have to remember but over time this becomes much easier. She will also feel more fatigued due to the demands on her concentration. We do not even realise how draining it can be serving people for long periods of time. Which just means understanding it takes time, feeling able to talk to manager if she is struggling and just lots of relaxation or self-care when not working. It's possible this is just a settling in period??
Hopefully she is not working with someone who makes her feel like crap for making mistakes or being a bit slow. Or if she's in customer service it could be the customers, some of them are absolutely vile and make you feel terrible for the rest of the day. If it is customers a really good coping strategy is to have a good laugh about them with your co workers. Give her time to build her confidence if she is still miserable in a month or so encourage her to apply for other jobs, that job is not for her.
There maybe someone or something at work bothering her that she can’t speak to you about. She may just be unsure and exhausted or not enjoying it. Tell her to hang in there and once she has that experience behind her, she can change jobs down the track. She prob feels awkward and like she is doing things wrong when she isn’t, they may also be rushing her at work and she’s not comfortable. So many reasons why. I think it will get better in time, once she gets to know it more.
I think the first 3-6 months of a new job is full on. Self doubt , not sure if you are doing thr right thing, do they like you, no one to have lunch will. And if she has never works before now the hard reality of working a week and being paid a few hundred dollars and that all her had work doesn't come with a big pay check. On top of this understanding that this is the rest of her life, work no matter what you do is needed to survive. Big learning curve. Just make sure she is eating well, sleeping and reaching out to friends. She might also have to mo cause if her mates are at uni the hours and lifestyle is different to those who work. Time to let her grow up and work it out for herself