I need a way out. I want to leave my husband. I have been with him for 10 years, married 3. We have 4 kids together.
I am stuck! Where we are there are no rentals around, moving in with my mum isn't an option as she really doesn't have the room. She would have me in heart beat but I don't want to put her in that position.
I hate the person he has become in the last 2 years. His hygiene is disgusting, he hardly helps around the house, won't mow the lawns but has made it so I can't use any of the lawn mowers (broke all 3 push mowers and has done something to the ride on so I can't start it). He constantly yells at the kids including the 7 month old, if he wakes up with her during the night he will sleep with her on the couch in a dangerous position, he constantly lies and makes out I am going crazy and making things up even if I have a witness to what I have seen or heard him say.
I tried to overdose because life is just too much for me, he couldn't care less. I had the thoughts the other night and I let him know, he just ignored me, it was lucky I had my brother to listen to me and talk me through it. I cry daily.
Sorry it's so long but I just don't know what to do!!
8 Replies
Ok firstly don’t do anything stupid, this is temporary & your kids need you. They need their amazing mum!
There is ways out.. Pack your kids and your belongings. Paper work, clothes and find somewhere to go. Reach out to community support workers during the week and put something in place to help you move. Centrelink for starters single parenting payment so you have enough to provide for your kids.
Ring life line and they can put you on to some fantastic services and help you through this. Suicide is not a way out. Your kids will suffer for the rest of their lives. You will leave them with more problems than they will ever have. It will destroy them and they will be left with this man.
You are amazing and they need you. You need to think of them. Get in your car and leave with them. Go and stay with family or friends until something comes up. Even if you have to share a room together. Look on marketplace and gumtree for any accomodation like granny flats, caravan parks, anything to get you out of this unhappy and very unhealthy situation.
Things will get better and you have to believe in that. You will make it better for you and your kids. Start with centrelink and life line to get the ball rolling. Can you stay with your brother? Go interstate. Move away and start a new life with your kids. Reach out to friends and family and tell them. Ask for help. Next time you feel this way about overdosing please ring 000 and seek immediate help. DO NOT EVER DO ANYTHING SILLY THAT IS PERMANENT. This is temporary and something can change. Your kids need you and you need them. You are their life and everything to them.
Good luck with everything.. you can do this!
Thank you so much for this response.
I feel I have my mental health under control, I do fight the demons when they appear and also have a few numbers to call if I can't shake the feeling.
I didn't think of looking on Gumtree for accommodation at all. I will have a look.
My oldest child is in school and I would prefer not to move her just yet so moving in with my brother is not an option for now. Uprooting her would do more harm then good right now
That is good to hear. Just be careful on gumtree. Never hand over any money, there is a lot of scammers on there too. If you don’t go and look at something in person it’s not legit or they will often want your email address. If you can’t speak to them on the phone and inspect a property don’t do it. It is good gumtree but you have to be very weary. I hope things get better for you soon.
Can you ask him to leave? Does he have somewhere he could stay, like family or friends?
Don't harm yourself, things are crappy right now but it won't always be like this.
Seek help for yourself, a gp, counsellor or call a hotline like 1800respect or lifeline to chat with someone
I have asked him multiple times to leave, he has no where to go because he moved to be with me after I left for 8 months (should never of let him back in). Thankfully I have all the numbers to call if I feel my decision to end things isn't going away after chatting to someone
In the middle of a rental crisis there are entire families living in old caravans, tents, even their cars. Amidst this I'm sure, if she knew just how badly you needed it, your mum would open her home to you all in a heartbeat, no matter how cramped. It's doable mate, do what you need to do to make this right for you and your kids. You know taking yourself out of the picture doesn't fulfil that brief. When those thoughts surface - you be the voice that says "no, not the desired outcome". This is the bottom. Be kind to yourself and ask for help. From the right people that is. Loser husband not so much.
My mum would definitely let us move in, in a heartbeat. She lives in a shed that's been converted to a house type thing due to the house burning down and the bank had cancelled the insurance when they brought a new house. I am going to speak to my family case worker through Brophy and see if she can help me.
You are doing all the right things. Keep going and Look forward to the positive and happy changes.