Nothing to talk about with partner. Not intellectually stimulated and bored in conversation, small talk.
Just wondering how to change this ..
Both of us are finding it hard to talk properly? Either its just topics that i cant stand , news related stuff , or work etc, nothing that gets my mind going or interested. Partners topics arent interesting so i have nothing to add to the conversation. Its hard to discuss things that are beyond my interest or care.
I find often if I say something thats important to me and I want that comment opened up with questions to get a proper convo happening where its give and take, but what i get is "yeah" nice. Nothing exciting lol. Or mostly i get silence as they arent actually listening and i get the shits and dont want to re say what i said over and over as if you cant be bothered listening why botjer asking again .
Often i'll share something. He asks..i answer. Then he will ask it again in same day or another day. To me i feel unheard. Why ask if you dont retain the discussion and memory?
I find my communication and his quite different.
But to friends etc i can talk their heads off and enjoy the give and take in discussions....
Hes the same , with phonecalls and in his friends company, very talkative.
But together. Not much .... go figure.
Love him. Loves me. But boring :/
Help!
6 Replies
Some people are introverts and enjoy just 'being' . Not everyone is a talker.
Hes extrovert. Very talkative. Just to others more i guess as they talk work and other interests i dont share in.....
We are both chatty just not much with each other :/ what he finds interesting to talk about i have no experience in it and nothing to give in reply as its not my scene. Same with when i share. He has no experiences in things i enjoy talking about, so cant really actively join in the discussion. It just sucks.
Its like total opposites. But loves there. Compatible in other areas and lacking in others. It lacks in connection and filters through to negative stuff.
Looks more important to you than personality?
Sex the most important thing to you?
I would have lasted one date. You find him boring, you can’t have a conversation and you have absolutely nothing in common.
Maybe try find a hobby you can do together?
Have you always struggled to hold a conversation or are you at odds with each other at the moment? If it's actually incompatibility in terms of intellect/communication/interests etc, I don't see how you could actually be in love or work?
Hubby and I are chalk and cheese. Our families, our friends and experiences are total opposites.
What we have in common is we respect each other, we support each other’s differences.
Learn from each other, be interested in each others lives.
You start he might follow.
Eg….I have no interest in playing music…hubby plays every instrument he sets his eyes on. I ask questions, I listen to him play, I show interest in his hobby.
I like art…hubby has ADHD, he goes to art galleries and sucks it up, he shows interest in what I like to draw/paint
Before kids every Sunday was for us, we did something together, after a while we had something in common, places we visited together, things we did.
Haha this is my husband. But I love him for it. He’s quiet and a introvert. I’m loud and annoying. If I was with someone the same as me I would have a headache every day from the intensity.