Lonely and unappreciated

I've been married almost 33 years, together 36. Love my Italian husband to bits. We have 3 grown up children still living at home, all hard workers.
My husband is always making things too comfortable so our children don't move. They have become "entitled" at times and they especially don't treat me with respect in my own house. It's got to the point that I'm just unhappy, unhappy with my life. I was a carer, for elderly people and mentally challenged, loved helping people. But continual criticism and hurtful comments from my kids has made it that I no longer care for people or anyone, and it upsets me because deep down its not who I am.
My middle child, my daughter is turning 28, she has mental issues and has seen a counsellor and is supposed to take meds, unsure if she still is. She can turn quite nasty in seconds, to the point of threatening to Smash my cabinets of very expensive antique carnival glass. When she was about 14 , we were all standing on a crowded bridge seeing in the New Year, we had a disagreement minutes before. Stroke of midnight she turns to me and says "I wish I had another mother", that has broken me ever since. She probably wouldn't even remember it.
We are currently not talking, we don't get along and are purchasing a granny flat to put in the yard for her. Her mood swings are really vicious and she hurts many of us. I'm upset because I don't get along with her and can't bring myself to speak to her. She has bought me a couple of things this past week, I'm guessing trying to apologise. But I need my sanity. I had a very bad childhood, mental abuse from a stepfather and I can't cope with this mental abuse I cop now from my kids. My husband is at a loss.
1 year after recovering from cancer I was put in a position of being carer and cook for my elderly in laws who moved next door. People expect so much from me and I have no mental energy left. I think of death a lot and wonder if it's better on the other side.