Hi sisterhood,
I am going to ask for kindness as this is something for me that is huge and for others may not be.
I am a woman who has always held her worth around sex with men. I have struggled a lot of my life with it, as a result often being in unhealthy relationships as I thought the sexual connection was the most important.
I am now for the first time in my life finding myself single (now a mother to young children as well) and I want more for a relationship from a connection. I am not rushing out to find a partner however I have decided when someone comes along who O am interested in I don't want to have sex with them for a few months because I would like to try and do things a bit differently. However I am struggling with how to be confident in bringing that up to a potential date. It makes me quite nervous. Does anyone have any advise from there own experience or books that they could recommend. I am in therapy and doing quite a lot of soul searching but I would love to hear some personal experience around this.
Single for the first time. Dating & not having sex?
Single for the first time. Dating & not having sex?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care
3 Replies
This is something I'd be making clear very early on because a lot of men (and women too) are just dating for sex and that's ok but it's not what you want.
I'd probably say something like "I need to develop an emotional connection with someone before I feel comfortable getting sexually intimate. If that's something you're on board with I'd like to see where this goes".
Be up front that you are seeking a connection, not a hookup. Don’t be surprised if men hear that and even say ‘same’ and then still go for the hookup,l though, they’re so gross especially online at the moment, so do be aware of that.
Just FYI, yours or anyone else’s ‘worth’ has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of sex/sexual partners anyone has. Do what’s right for you xx